Club Paradise (1986)

Robin Williams: Jack Moniker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phillipa Lloyd : What island are you from?

  Jack Moniker : Ellis, originally.

  Phillipa Lloyd : So, what do you do around here? After you left The Palms, they said you were a smuggler.

  Jack Moniker : No, I'm a snuggler.

• Jack Moniker : I heard about this guy in Cicero, well he stiffed a loanshark, so a couple of these guys got him, cut off his arm, beat him to death with the arm, and shoved it in a food processor and made a dip out of it. Then they served it to his family at his sister's wedding. And the sister loved it so much, she wanted the recipe. It's a crazy world, isn't it?

• Jack Moniker : Tree, what's happenin'?

  [Tree offers Jack marijuana] 

  Jack Moniker : Oooooh, no thanks. Last time I smoked that stuff they found me on top of the Sears tower trying to build a nest.

• Jack Moniker : I got a little paranoid and thought people were out to get me. Now I know, they are.

• Jack Moniker : In this country, the Constitution is written in pencil.

• Jack Moniker : [takes a breath in the oxygen mask, then to Earnest, in a high voice]  Now you stay here and honk if there's any troub...

  [realizes his voice is higher] 

  Jack Moniker : Wait a minute!

  [takes another breath in the mask, then annoyed] 

  Jack Moniker : This thing's helium. Goddamnit, I brought the wrong tank!

• Jack Moniker : You know, I knew another proud, young, black man, like yourself, once. And I gave him some advice too. I told him, wear one glove - just one glove. The rest was history.

  Ernest Reed : Who was that?

  Jack Moniker : Willie Mays.

• Jack Moniker : Your Excellency. You're looking elegant this evening. Why are we graced with your imperial presence?

  Governor Anthony Cloyden Hayes : The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil and the frying female flesh right across the island. I was curious to see what was going on at this perverted passion pit you're running here. This orgy bin. Whatever you call this drug-crazed nipple ranch.

• Jack Moniker : Check it out. What about those two?

  Barry Steinberg : Eh... I don't think they're interested.

  Barry Nye : Too tall.

  Jack Moniker : Come on. They were just talking to me about you.

  Barry Steinberg : No.

  [incredulously] 

  Barry Nye : Really? Then what?

  Jack Moniker : They said you weren't fit to sleep with pigs, but I stood up for you. I said you were.

• Phillipa Lloyd : You seem fit enough.

  Jack Moniker : Oh, inside, I'm a mess.

• Jack Moniker : Be careful. Someone on this island has a doll with your face on it. Voodoo, ta-ta. Take care.

• Jack Moniker : Toby here was just reminiscing about the good old days. Flogging. Slavery. Honest day's work, for an honest day's beating.

  Ernest Reed : Gone, but not forgotten.