The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
Thurl Ravenscroft: Kirby
Quotes
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Air Conditioner : You guys really have an attachment for that kid, don't you?
Blanky : Yes. He was our master.
Air Conditioner : Well, that's real nice, and any day now, he might come romping back, huh? He'll just come whistling through that door, and everything will be the same. Real peachy-keen-like.
Blanky : Uh-huh.
Lampy : It's a possibility.
Toaster : Well, at least we try to be optimistic.
Air Conditioner : [shouts] Optimistic? Somebody try to untie the knot in this guy's cord!
Kirby : Why don't you just shut off?
Air Conditioner : Hey, I'm really scared there, Kirby. What are you going to do, suck me to death?
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Air Conditioner : So... It's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's going on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just 'cause you move around, you think you're better than I am. I'm not an invalid. I was designed to stick in the wall! I like being stuck in the stupid wall! I can't help it if the kid was too short to reach my dials...
[Begins to spark and fizzle furiously]
Toaster : We didn't mean it. Really!
Air Conditioner : [bellows] IT'S MY FUNCTION!
[continues sparking and fizzing and glowing]
Toaster : No, wait. Wait!
Kirby : He's gonna blow!
Toaster : Quick, yank your plugs!
[the appliances all unplug themselves just as Air Conditioner blows up]
Blanky : Poor Air Conditioner.
Toaster : I didn't think he'd take it so hard.
Kirby : Ah, he was a jerk anyway.
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Air Conditioner : What is it with you guys, anyway? You act like you just came off the assembly line! Now get this through your chrome. We've been dumped! Abandoned!
Blanky : But he loved us.
The Radio : That's right.
Air Conditioner : So what? He's a kid. He has a family. They move away, he moves away. It's a packaged deal.
Toaster : But maybe they're...
Air Conditioner : He's not coming back! Pure and simple!
Kirby : Oh yeah? Did you talk to him recently or something? They could drive up any second!
Blanky : You really think so?
Kirby : I'm not talking to you!
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Toaster : Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.
Air Conditioner : That's real touchin', Toaster. You're gonna get me bawling like a baby anytime now.
Toaster : I think you're jealous.
Air Conditioner : Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.
Lampy : Dim?
Toaster : Yeah, because the master never played with you.
Kirby : Because you're stuck in a wall!
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The Radio : Boy, are we glad to see you!
Lampy : Yeah. I really thought I'd turned in my warranty that time.
The Radio : Until baggy here showed up!
Kirby : I just slipped and fell in. That's all.
Lampy : [laughing] Oh, yeah, sure, right.
Blanky : You can't fool us. We love you.
The Radio : That's right, like Mrs. Roosevelt loved her husband.
Kirby : Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the shore. Everybody off.
The Radio : Listen to this! This is President Roosevelt awarding the vaccum the medal of honor!
[Radio places a leaf on Kirby's face, but Kirby blows it off, and everyone laughs]
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The Radio : Why listen to this. I'm picking up something. I think its a news flash: President Roosevelt has declared today a national holiday in honor of those five amazing appliances we've all been hearing about. So lock up the office, take down the top and open that rumble seat. Last one to Coney Island is a party pooper. From the starlight roof high atop the Ritz, we wish our intrepid little friends the best of luck and a fond farewell.
Kirby : Ah, you're all a bunch of junk.
[They all laugh]
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Lampy : Hey, I've got an idea! We can all get on top of the bed, and Kirby can push us!... No, no, no... Hey! What about the master's pogo stick?... No, no, no... Hey! Why don't we get the refrigerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull?... No, no, no... Hey!
The Radio : Shut up! Shut up!
The Radio : Let somebody else try for a change!
[makes everyone stand on top of Blanky]
The Radio : Arise, Hassan, arise, O magic carpet...
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The Radio : Why if it isn't ol' Rabbit Ears!
Black and White TV : Why if it isn't ol' loudmouth!
Blanky : Hey, TV!
Lampy : How ya doing?
Black and White TV : Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.
Toaster : The cabin hasn't been the same since they took you away.
Kirby : Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.
Black and White TV : [grinning] Well I see you haven't changed.
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The Radio : Why, I don't believe I've ever seen quite so many smiles before.
Kirby : I've never seen contraptions with so many buttons and knobs and dials before.
Computer : Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.
Lampy : Wow.
The Radio : Well, what does that mean?
Lampy : I don't know. What's that mean?
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Kirby : What do you mean what are we going to do today? The same thing we've done for the last 2000 days! Chores!
Blanky : Chores?
Toaster : It'll be fun.
The Radio : Fun? I'm up for some fun. Listen to this, a broadcast from Wrigley Field. It's the bottom of the ninth...
[Lampy shuts Radio off]
Lampy : I don't see how doing chores is supposed to be fun.
Kirby : It's not supposed to be fun. It's work.
Blanky : I don't like to work without the master.
Toaster : Well, okay. If you guys don't want to work, why don't we play a game?
The Radio : A game? What sort of a game?
Lampy : What are the rules?
Toaster : There's only one rule... no one stops until the house is clean.
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Lampy : Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!
Kirby : Great. Let's spread out the blanket and have a picnic.
Blanky : But I'm full of stickers!
Kirby : Well, my bag's full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else! Who's idea was it to come this way, anyway?
The Radio : Why, it was the lamp's, I tell ya!
Lampy : Oh, yeah? Who's supposed to be the big shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth? Mr. Big Loudmouth?
Kirby : Yeah!
Toaster : Where are we, anyway?
The Radio : Now, look here, fellas, just give me a second and I... Whoa, listen to this! It's the top of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and... PeeWee Reese is at the plate! There's the pitch, and he hits!
[he hits a rock which bounces off everyone else]
The Radio : Oh, and it's a triple play!
-
Blanky : Oww!
Toaster : What's wrong?
Blanky : He stepped on me!
Lampy : Did not!
Blanky : Did too!
Lampy : Did not!
Kirby : Did too!
Lampy : Did not!
Toaster : Hey, hey, hey, come on! How do you guys expect us to get there if you're fighting all the time?
Blanky : You mean we're not there yet?
Toaster : [chuckles] No, not yet. We've got a long way to go.
Kirby : Oh, boy! You're telling me!
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Toaster : Well, I'm going with or without you.
Kirby : Well, I say we stay. We're gonna have a new master anyway once someone buys this cottage.
Blanky : But I don't want a new master! I want our master!
Toaster : Well? What about the rest of you?
The Radio : You boys are gonna need a leader! Why, alone, you wouldn't last more than five minutes out there! I was once a mountaineer, see? And together, we can stand against the forces of nature!
Lampy : Were you really a mountaineer?
The Radio : Sure. Ask anybody. Ask Teddy Roosevelt. Why, we shoot moose together on the Klondike.
Lampy : Wow. Well, you know, I was thinking, you guys are gonna need someone bright along too.
Toaster : Good idea.
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Kirby : Lay off! Just lay off!
Toaster : What's the matter?
Lampy : We were worried about you.
The Radio : You had us real scared there, pal.
Kirby : Well, there's nothing wrong with me, pal! Just back off!
Blanky : Don't be angry.
Kirby : Just keep your antenneas and knobs and wires and ribbons off my chrome! Who needs you guys, anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight! I'd be better off without you!
Blanky : But Kirby...
Kirby : Especially you, you little rag!
[pauses for a while, then turns to the waterfall]
Kirby : So, uh... how do we get across this thing, anyway?
-
Rob : [searching the cabin for his appliance] Where's the toaster?
[Toaster is thrown out of the Master's Apartment into the dumpster]
Rob : Where's the vacuum?
[Kirby is thrown out of the Master's Apartment into the dumpster]
Kirby : No!
Rob : What's going on? Where's the radio? Where's the lamp and blanket?
[Radio, Lampy, and Blankey are thrown out of the Master's Apartment into the dumpster]
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Lampy : [Blanky tries to sleep with him; rudely] Go find your own place to sleep, you little fuzzball.
Radio : [Blanky tries to sleep with Radio who made a circle where he's sleeping] Blanket! Hey, hey! What, are you blind? It's a line! Hey, hey!
Kirby : [Blanky looks at Kirby] Good night!
[goes to sleep]
Toaster : [Blanky notices Toaster and affectionately snuggles up next to him only to be rudely shoved aside] Come on, I'm not the master. Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Go on.
[Blanky, completely dejected, finds a quiet spot, sighs, and curls himself to sleep]
-
Blanky : [last lines as the appliances go with Rob and Chris to college] We did good, didn't we?
Toaster : Yup
[she affectionately pats his head and snuggles on top him and relaxes]
Toaster : we did good.
Lampy : [scratching his head] You know I've been thinking and this college business seems like a good idea, I can absorb a lot of interesting facts.
The Radio : Why listen to this, I'm picking up something, I think it's a news flash: President Roosevelt has declared today a national holiday in honor of those five amazing appliances we've all been hearing about, so lock up the office, take down the top and open that rumble seat last one to Coney Island is a party for one, from the Starlight roof high atop the Ritz, we wish our intrepid little friends the best of luck and a fond farewell
Kirby : Yeah, your all a bunch of junk.
[They all start laughing]
-
Lampy : Boy, he sure has grown!
The Radio : Look at him! What a heartbreaker!
Toaster : He graduated too!
Kirby : Of course. He knows how to work hard.
Blanky : He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.
Black and White TV : [good-naturedly] Still needs ya? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!
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Kirby : [Blanky cries after Rob hasn't returned; of the photo] Cry, cry, weep, wail and snob! It's disgusting! Every time! I can't believe it! Every single. Give me that stupid thing!
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The Radio : [the appliances are on a magnet at the junkyard being taken to the crusher] At least we all go together, yeah that's looking at the bright side isn't it.
Blanky : No, no, the Masters down there, look!
Lampy : It's him!
Kirby : What? Where?
The Radio : Why look, it is him!
Blanky : [happily smiling] Maybe he still needs us!
Lampy : Yeah!
