The Brave Little Toaster (1987)

Timothy Stack: Lampy, Zeke

Quotes 

• Air Conditioner : You guys really have an attachment for that kid, don't you?

  Blanky : Yes. He was our master.

  Air Conditioner : Well, that's real nice, and any day now, he might come romping back, huh? He'll just come whistling through that door, and everything will be the same. Real peachy-keen-like.

  Blanky : Uh-huh.

  Lampy : It's a possibility.

  Toaster : Well, at least we try to be optimistic.

  Air Conditioner : [shouts]  Optimistic? Somebody try to untie the knot in this guy's cord!

  Kirby : Why don't you just shut off?

  Air Conditioner : Hey, I'm really scared there, Kirby. What are you going to do, suck me to death?

• The Radio : Things could be worse, you know.

  Lampy : How?

  The Radio : How what?

  Lampy : How could they be worse?

  The Radio : They couldn't; I lied.

• Lampy : I remember the first time my bulb burned out. And I thought, "That's it! I'm burnt out! Eighty-sixed! To the showers!" But then the master gave me a brand new bulb... and I just glowed.

• Lampy : Hey, come over here. I'm gonna...

  The Radio : Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?

  Lampy : Precisely - a total idiot!

  The Radio : If you sabre wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!

  [the Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them] 

  The Radio : A blow for Richard! A blow for Marion! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th street!

• Lampy : Legs would help, you know.

  Kirby : Brains wouldn't hurt either.

  Lampy : Lay off.

  The Radio : Yeah, pipe down, carpet-breath.

• Toaster : Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.

  Air Conditioner : That's real touchin', Toaster. You're gonna get me bawling like a baby anytime now.

  Toaster : I think you're jealous.

  Air Conditioner : Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.

  Lampy : Dim?

  Toaster : Yeah, because the master never played with you.

  Kirby : Because you're stuck in a wall!

• The Radio : Boy, are we glad to see you!

  Lampy : Yeah. I really thought I'd turned in my warranty that time.

  The Radio : Until baggy here showed up!

  Kirby : I just slipped and fell in. That's all.

  Lampy : [laughing]  Oh, yeah, sure, right.

  Blanky : You can't fool us. We love you.

  The Radio : That's right, like Mrs. Roosevelt loved her husband.

  Kirby : Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the shore. Everybody off.

  The Radio : Listen to this! This is President Roosevelt awarding the vaccum the medal of honor!

  [Radio places a leaf on Kirby's face, but Kirby blows it off, and everyone laughs] 

• Blanky : He's not home.

  Toaster : We'll have to wait.

  The Radio : No. Let's wait inside!

  Lampy : But it's locked.

  The Radio : Luckily, my war training included inter-appliance codes. I will simply render the secret appliance knock, and we'll be welcomed by the native machinery. Stand aside, my meager companion!

• Lampy : So... uh... what's this thing with you and the Blanket?

  Toaster : What thing?

  Lampy : You know. All of a sudden, you're being so darned NICE to him all of a sudden.

  Toaster : Oh, that. I was just thinking, and I got this feeling I should be nicer to him for a change, you know? And now I feel better.

  Lampy : Wow, that's weird.

  Toaster : What's weird about it?

  Lampy : I don't know. I mean, you were never this nice to him before, and all of a sudden now you're nice to him all the time, and I don't know. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to understand, trying to figure out, what it all means.

  Toaster : Well, it's kind of hard to describe. It's like being next to a new loaf of bread.

  [Lampy looks puzzled] 

  Toaster : Hmmm. It's, um, let's see... it's like a warm, toasty feeling inside.

  [Lampy scratches his head] 

  Toaster : It's like a glow...

  Lampy : A glow!

  Toaster : Yeah.

  Lampy : I think I know what you're talking about! It's like the feeling I get when I think about the Master.

• Kirby : [uf the Master]  He's not coming back anyway.

  Lampy : He might. The fact is there's just not enough fact.

• Lampy : Hey, I've got an idea! We can all get on top of the bed, and Kirby can push us!... No, no, no... Hey! What about the master's pogo stick?... No, no, no... Hey! Why don't we get the refrigerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull?... No, no, no... Hey!

  The Radio : Shut up! Shut up!

  Toaster , Kirby : SHUT UP!

  The Radio : Let somebody else try for a change!

  [makes everyone stand on top of Blanky] 

  The Radio : Arise, Hassan, arise, O magic carpet...

• Lampy : We are pioneers! Whoa!

• [last lines] 

  Lampy : [as he and his friends head off to college, laughs]  Oh, I'm aching from joy!

• The Radio : I think Houdini did this once, and if I remember right, he was out of the hospital in no time.

  Lampy : Well, that's encouraging.

• [Radio knocks Lampy off the bed] 

  Lampy : Holy Mother of Edison! What were you thinking? You could have broken my bulb!

• The Radio : [points at the sun]  Look, Lampy, from here you can see the really BIG lamp.

  Lampy : WOW! I wonder where his switch is?

• [Toaster notices Kirby is reluctant to come] 

  Toaster : You know, we could use someone who's really... strong!

  Lampy : And loud!

  Blanky : And grumpy!

  The Radio : And oblivious to reality!

• The Radio : [thinking Kirby is a whale]  Damn thee, accursed whale! By the depths of Hell I stabbeth thee!

  Kirby : Climb on, you idiot!

  The Radio : Oh, it's you.

  Kirby : Where's Toaster?

  Lampy : He sank!

• Blanky : [off-screen from a distance]  Help me! I'm stuck!

  Toaster : I hear him.

  Lampy : I don't see him anywhere.

  The Radio : Maybe he's calling from Blanket Heaven. He's a white, fluffly little angel with a knob-nose.

  Kirby : He's just stuck in a tree, that's all! Look!

• Zeke : [Elmo St. Peters had fainted after the appliances scared him half to death and escaped]  Did I catch ya at a bad time? Just wondering if you got my radio tubes.

• The Radio : Why if it isn't ol' Rabbit Ears!

  Black and White TV : Why if it isn't ol' loudmouth!

  Blanky : Hey, TV!

  Lampy : How ya doing?

  Black and White TV : Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.

  Toaster : The cabin hasn't been the same since they took you away.

  Kirby : Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.

  Black and White TV : [grinning]  Well I see you haven't changed.

• The Radio : Why, I don't believe I've ever seen quite so many smiles before.

  Kirby : I've never seen contraptions with so many buttons and knobs and dials before.

  Computer : Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

  Lampy : Wow.

  The Radio : Well, what does that mean?

  Lampy : I don't know. What's that mean?

• Blanky : There may be lions in there...

  The Radio : And tigers and bears. Oh my.

  Lampy : [sarcastically]  He's such a baby! Ma-maa!

  [Toaster shoos them both away and stands next to the frightened Blanky after a few seconds she affectionately rubs his head making him smile] 

• Kirby : What do you mean what are we going to do today? The same thing we've done for the last 2000 days! Chores!

  Blanky : Chores?

  Toaster : It'll be fun.

  The Radio : Fun? I'm up for some fun. Listen to this, a broadcast from Wrigley Field. It's the bottom of the ninth...

  [Lampy shuts Radio off] 

  Lampy : I don't see how doing chores is supposed to be fun.

  Kirby : It's not supposed to be fun. It's work.

  Blanky : I don't like to work without the master.

  Toaster : Well, okay. If you guys don't want to work, why don't we play a game?

  The Radio : A game? What sort of a game?

  Lampy : What are the rules?

  Toaster : There's only one rule... no one stops until the house is clean.

  Kirby , Blanky , The Radio , Lampy : Boo!

• Lampy : Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!

  Kirby : Great. Let's spread out the blanket and have a picnic.

  Blanky : But I'm full of stickers!

  Kirby : Well, my bag's full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else! Who's idea was it to come this way, anyway?

  The Radio : Why, it was the lamp's, I tell ya!

  Lampy : Oh, yeah? Who's supposed to be the big shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth? Mr. Big Loudmouth?

  Kirby : Yeah!

  Toaster : Where are we, anyway?

  The Radio : Now, look here, fellas, just give me a second and I... Whoa, listen to this! It's the top of the ninth, the bases are loaded, and... PeeWee Reese is at the plate! There's the pitch, and he hits!

  [he hits a rock which bounces off everyone else] 

  The Radio : Oh, and it's a triple play!

• Blanky : Oww!

  Toaster : What's wrong?

  Blanky : He stepped on me!

  Lampy : Did not!

  Blanky : Did too!

  Lampy : Did not!

  Kirby : Did too!

  Lampy : Did not!

  Toaster : Hey, hey, hey, come on! How do you guys expect us to get there if you're fighting all the time?

  Blanky : You mean we're not there yet?

  Toaster : [chuckles]  No, not yet. We've got a long way to go.

  Kirby : Oh, boy! You're telling me!

• The Radio , Lampy , Blanky , Toaster , Kirby : [singing]  There goes the sun, here comes the night. Somebody turn on the light. Somebody tell me that fate has been kind.

  Chorus : [singing]  You can't go out! You are out of your mind!

• Toaster : Well, I'm going with or without you.

  Kirby : Well, I say we stay. We're gonna have a new master anyway once someone buys this cottage.

  Blanky : But I don't want a new master! I want our master!

  Toaster : Well? What about the rest of you?

  The Radio : You boys are gonna need a leader! Why, alone, you wouldn't last more than five minutes out there! I was once a mountaineer, see? And together, we can stand against the forces of nature!

  Lampy : Were you really a mountaineer?

  The Radio : Sure. Ask anybody. Ask Teddy Roosevelt. Why, we shoot moose together on the Klondike.

  Lampy : Wow. Well, you know, I was thinking, you guys are gonna need someone bright along too.

  Toaster : Good idea.

• Lampy : Just shorted right out.

  The Radio : Cracked up and snapped. He sold the farm. Poor chap.

  Lampy : How does he look?

  The Radio : A little better than you, actually.

• Kirby : Lay off! Just lay off!

  Toaster : What's the matter?

  Lampy : We were worried about you.

  The Radio : You had us real scared there, pal.

  Kirby : Well, there's nothing wrong with me, pal! Just back off!

  Blanky : Don't be angry.

  Kirby : Just keep your antenneas and knobs and wires and ribbons off my chrome! Who needs you guys, anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight! I'd be better off without you!

  Blanky : But Kirby...

  Kirby : Especially you, you little rag!

  [pauses for a while, then turns to the waterfall] 

  Kirby : So, uh... how do we get across this thing, anyway?

• Lampy : [sliding backwards into a muddy pond without realizing it]  Wow, the poor guy didn't have a chance. Just -ssss- and that's it.

  The Radio : Don't look now, but you're about to "ssss", yourself!

  Lampy : What?

  [He only just realizes he's up to his head in mud] 

  Lampy : Whoa!

  [He submerges] 

• Lampy : [Blanky tries to sleep with him; rudely]  Go find your own place to sleep, you little fuzzball.

  Radio : [Blanky tries to sleep with Radio who made a circle where he's sleeping]  Blanket! Hey, hey! What, are you blind? It's a line! Hey, hey!

  Kirby : [Blanky looks at Kirby]  Good night!

  [goes to sleep] 

  Toaster : [Blanky notices Toaster and affectionately snuggles up next to him only to be rudely shoved aside]  Come on, I'm not the master. Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Go on.

  [Blanky, completely dejected, finds a quiet spot, sighs, and curls himself to sleep] 

• Blanky : We did good, didn't we?

  Toaster : Yep. Ahh... We did good.

  Lampy : You know, I've been thinking: if this college is serious stuff, I could absorb some interesting facts.

• Blanky : [last lines as the appliances go with Rob and Chris to college]  We did good, didn't we?

  Toaster : Yup

  [she affectionately pats his head and snuggles on top him and relaxes] 

  Toaster : we did good.

  Lampy : [scratching his head]  You know I've been thinking and this college business seems like a good idea, I can absorb a lot of interesting facts.

  The Radio : Why listen to this, I'm picking up something, I think it's a news flash: President Roosevelt has declared today a national holiday in honor of those five amazing appliances we've all been hearing about, so lock up the office, take down the top and open that rumble seat last one to Coney Island is a party for one, from the Starlight roof high atop the Ritz, we wish our intrepid little friends the best of luck and a fond farewell

  Kirby : Yeah, your all a bunch of junk.

  [They all start laughing] 

• Toaster : What are you laughing at?

  Air Conditioner : Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.

  Lampy : I think he was laughing at us.

  Air Conditioner : You know something? You're a bright little lamp.

  Lampy : Thanks... Hey!

• Black and White TV : Boy if he gonna be surprised when he gets back. He just left a little while ago to drive out to the cab...

  [Plugsy switches the station; an announcer speaks Spanish] 

  Lampy : Hey!

  The Radio : What's the idea?

  Plugsy : Oh, many pardons. Was you watchin' that channel?

• Lampy : Boy, he sure has grown!

  The Radio : Look at him! What a heartbreaker!

  Toaster : He graduated too!

  Kirby : Of course. He knows how to work hard.

  Blanky : He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.

  Black and White TV : [good-naturedly]  Still needs ya? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!

• Toaster : [They approach the waterfall and Kirby freaks out and tries to swallow his cord]  Kirby, no!

  Lampy : Get the cord out of his mouth, don't let him swallow it!

  The Radio : Switch him off!

  [Toaster jumps on Kirby and flips his switch] 

• [Blanky has gone up to the attic to see if the master is coming; when he doesn't, Blanky starts crying] 

  Lampy : Well, was it him?

  [Toaster glares at him] 

  Lampy : I was just wondering whether or not it was him. I hate being left in the dark, you know.

  [Blanky climbs back down, crying] 

  Lampy : So we can assume that it wasn't him?

  Toaster : Let's get back to work.

• Lampy : Are you sure this is the right way?

  The Radio : I'm as sure as I am honest.

  Lampy : In that case, we're definitely lost.

• Lampy : You can't even hear your own thoughts around here with all the racket around here.

• Lampy : Hey. Hey. What's that?

  Blanky : A car!

  Kirby : I don't want to hear another word about cars!

  Toaster : You said it.

  The Radio : It sounds pretty close.

  Kirby : Just don't even start!

  Lampy : Sounds real close!

• The Radio : This is my sleeping place, see? And nobody crosses this line!

  Lampy : Yeah, well, you'd better not wake us up at 6:00, as usual!

  Kirby : What are you complaining about? You didn't do any work today.

• Toaster : [notices that Blanky is staring off into space as if some sort of trance]  Hey, hey, shh, shy, quiet, it's the Blanket

  [they all stop what they're and doing and look at Blanky] 

  Blanky : [barely audible]  A car.

  Toaster : A car!

  Kirby , Lampy , Radio : A car!

• Lampy : Hey! We're not dead!

  Radio : Yeah? Where's some wood to knock on?

• The Radio : [the appliances are on a magnet at the junkyard being taken to the crusher]  At least we all go together, yeah that's looking at the bright side isn't it.

  Blanky : No, no, the Masters down there, look!

  Lampy : It's him!

  Kirby : What? Where?

  The Radio : Why look, it is him!

  Blanky : [happily smiling]  Maybe he still needs us!

  Lampy : Yeah!

• Lampy : Hey, come over here. I'm gonna... Radio: Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with? Lampy: Precisely -- a total idiot! Radio: If your sabre wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!

  [Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them] 

  Lampy : Radio: A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on Fifth Street!

  The Radio : Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?

  Lampy : Precisely -- a total idiot!

  The Radio : If your sabre wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!

  [Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them] 

  The Radio : A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on Fifth Street!

• Lampy : [Lampy and Radio are playfully fooling around]  Come back here, I'll track you to the end of this carpet. Hey, come here you. I'm going to get you, wait'll I fix your speaker.

  The Radio : Rusetti picks it up and throws and oh a thunder. Cepeda tags, he heads for second.

  Lampy : Just wait till I get my plugs on you!

  [Blanky is shown watching them]