Hamlet Goes Business (1987)

Pirkka-Pekka Petelius: Hamlet

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Quotes 

• Gertrud : [Hamlet is discussing with his mother]  What I am going to say now is not just a whim. You'll understand if you just want to. I loved your father as much as you can demand a good wife to love a tyrant who never returns love, giving you as much passion as he gives to the winter tires of his car.

  Hamlet : I ask you not to tarnish my father's memory.

  Gertrud : I've been silent too long to gloss over the facts.

  Gertrud : Then get to the point.

  Gertrud : I'm going to marry Klaus. I love him.

• Polonius : How are you, Hamlet?

  Hamlet : Alright, thank God.

  Polonius : Do you know me?

  Hamlet : Sure, You are the butcher.

  Polonius : No, I'm not.

  Hamlet : I wish you were.

  Polonius : Why?

  Hamlet : It would make you more respectable. Only one man in 10,000 is respectable and even he's nothing much to boast about.

  Polonius : That's true.

  Hamlet : For if the sun breeds maggots in a dead bitch it's worth the carrion to kiss it. You got a daughter?

  Polonius : Yes.

  Hamlet : Don't let her take too much sun, for it's nobler to give. Tell her about the facts of life or she might burst pregnant.

  Polonius : You're talking about my daughter? In my youth I, too suffered much for love. Almost just like you. What are you reading?

  Hamlet : Words, words, words.

  Polonius : About what?

  Hamlet : About it.

  Polonius : I mean: what's in the magazine?

  Hamlet : Gossip. Even if it was true, it's disgusting to print it because one day you'll be as old as I am, if you go backward like a crab.

  Polonius : I see. I must go. Will we meet again?

  Hamlet : I can't promise you anything else with as much pleasure, butcher except mu life, except my life, except my life.

  Polonius : Mad!