Radio Days (1987)

Michael Tucker: Martin, the father

Photos 

Quotes 

• Narrator : Then there were my father and mother, two people who could find an argument in any subject.

  Father : Wait, you think the Atlantic is a greater ocean than the Pacific?

  Mother : No. Have it your way. The Pacific is greater.

  Narrator : I mean, how many people argue over oceans?

• Father : [to mother]  You're lucky I love you, you old douchebag.

• Narrator : [about a therapist's radio show]  I found the show silly and always imagined my parents on it airing their standard complaints.

  Mother : He's a business failure. He never finishes what he starts. We're forced to live with my relatives and thank God for them. And I should have married Sam Slotkin.

  Father : Sam Slotkin's dead.

  Mother : Yes, but while he was alive, he was working.

  Father : She'd be lost without her whole family around her all the time, and you should see 'em. They're like some kind of tribe. They're like the Huns. Maybe if I had married a more encouraging woman, who knows?

  Mother : So who do you think is right?

  Mr. Abercrombie : I think you both deserve each other.

  Mother : What does that mean?

  Father : Look, we didn't come here to be insulted.

  Mother : I love him, but what did I do to deserve him?

• Father : You think I want you working at the job I do?

  Joe : I don't even know what your job is.

• Mother : You know, when we were younger, of the three sisters she used to be considered the pretty one.

  Father : Some contest.

• Mother : Better be careful. The daughter believes in free love.

  Father : Why do you say that?

  Mother : You heard what happened to Mrs. Silverman? She couldn't sleep. She was up one night taking a cup of tea and she heard a car pull up 3:00 in the morning. So, you know Mrs. Silverman. She always likes to know what's going on. So, she's peeking out her front door and there's the girl across the street coming back from a folk-singing thing with a tall colored man. You're not gonna believe this, Ceil. She gives the guy a big, long kiss. Well, you can imagine how Rose Silverman reacted. She had a stroke on the spot.

• Father : Why can't you be like that, huh? Why can't you be a genius? I'll tell you why. Because you're too busy listening to the radio all the time. That's why!

• Father : What do they want, those Nazis? To slaughter everyone on the planet?

  Mother : The Nazis, the Communists. The world would be better off without any of them, believe me. Come here. You know what W.C. Fields said, don't you? He said, to settle a war the leaders of the countries involved should meet in a stadium and fight it out with socks filled with horse manure.

• Mother : If it's a girl, I thought we could name it Lola.

  Father : Lola? What do you want her to be, a stripper?

• Mother : Martin, are you sure you want to call the baby Ellen?

  Father : Sure. Sure. Why not? It's in memory of your cousin Eddie.

  Mother : In memory? He's not dead yet.

  Father : He should be.

• Father : Roger and Irene are rich and famous. They have a radio show. They wear fancy clothes, they hobnob with their celebrity friends, they go to all the openings and nightclubs. What, you think they're happier than us?

  Mother : How much time do I have to answer that question?

• Father : [to Aunt Bea on New Year's Eve]  What, no date tonight? Well, it's okay. We're all together, you know.