Writer / director Tim Kincaid bumbles and stumbles his way through this thin story of rival night club owners in NYC, and the weary detective (played by the movie's only "name" actor, Jeff Fahey) standing on the sidelines, and making commentary, but never doing very much. Aside from the irresistible chance to see vintage 42nd St. footage and to get a feel of that ambiance, "Riot on 42nd St." just ain't as much fun as it ought to have been. The main problem is that Kincaid's movie could have used at least a little more energy; it just sort of plods along and only sometimes comes to life. About 54 minutes in, there's a hilarious, over the top massacre (makeup effects courtesy of the under appreciated Edward French), but after that things kind of slow down again. They pick up again for the finale, but by then it's a case of too little too late. For most of the movie the appeal lies in laughing at Kincaid's lack of timing, the frequent awkward moments, the badly done fight scenes, and the utter stiffness of the performances. John Hayden (who sports an admittedly awesome moustache) plays the main character, Glenn Barnes, returning home to the family business after spending time in the slammer for manslaughter, who must do battle with ultra sleazy creep Leonard Farrell (Michael Speero) and his muscle bound henchman Remy Wyler (Carl Fury). Kate Collins as Michelle and Frances Raines as Barbara are real lookers; Collins delivers one of the single most awful acting jobs captured on celluloid that this viewer has ever seen. There are some delectable topless dancing scenes, but they, along with other scenes of comedy and singing, mostly seem to serve to basically pad the running time. Adding to the fun are stand-up comedian Zerocks and martial artist Ron Van Clief, playing themselves. The non-stop, upbeat soundtrack is a delight to listen to, and it's likewise nice to see the various theater marquees. In the end, the title promises a better time than we should have had watching this, but if one can stick it out through the duller points they may derive some entertainment from this flick. Six out of 10.