Withnail & I (1987)

Michael Elphick: Jake

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake : I might come and see you lads in the week. I might fetch you up a rabbit.

  Withnail : We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant.

  Jake : Listen, you young prat. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. No more than you have.

  Withnail : Course you have, you're the poacher.

  Jake : [pointing an eel at him]  If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you.

  Withnail : Don't threaten me with a dead fish!

  Jake : Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one.

  Withnail : Sod your pheasants! You'll have to find us first.

  Jake : I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. You want working on, boy.

• [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback] 

  Withnail : Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you?

  Jake : No. I've got nothing to sell.

  Withnail : Come on, old boy. What's in your hump?

  Jake : Now, look, you. Them pheasants are for his pot. These eels are for my pot. Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot?

  Withnail : What pot?

  Marwood : Our cooking pot.

  Jake : Ah, he knows. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag.

  [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his] 

• Jake : [pulling a pheasant out of his coat]  He's been fed from arsehole to beak.

• Jake : I've seen you! Prancing around like a tit! You want working on, boy!