Withnail & I (1987)

Noel Johnson: General

Quotes 

• Marwood : [voiceover]  If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. It was like walking into a lung. A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock.

  [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down] 

  General : Thought I was going for a minute. But no man's put me down yet. Have you had any training in the martial arts?

  Withnail : Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials.

  General : Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. You can never, never disguise it.

  Withnail : What were you in?

  General : Tanks. Afrika Korps. A little before your time. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you?

  Withnail : Ireland.

  General : Oooh, a crack at the Mick?

  Withnail : We'll have another pair of large scotches.

  General : These shall be my pleasure.

  [he pours their drinks] 

  General : What are you doing up here, then?

  Withnail : We're doing a feature for Country Life. Survey of rural types. You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing.

  General : Have you met Jake? Poacher. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm?

  [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks] 

  Marwood : What's all this army bollocks?

  Withnail : We got a drink, didn't we?