Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1988–1999)
Ryan Stiles: Self
Photos
Quotes
-
Ryan Stiles : [to Mike McShane] If you got a duck blowing on one of your bladders, you're in deep trouble, my friend, deep troubles.
-
[Props]
Ryan Stiles : [balancing a sphere on his shoulder] Do you have a table for Atlas?
-
Jim Meskimen : If other hobbies leave you in the lurch, You can always break out your chisel, and carve yourself a perch. That's right, you can carve a marble or a granite, Just go ahead and have at it.
Chris Smith : You may spend a couple of hours cleaning off the sediment, From that age old fallen pediment. But once you have done it you will notice with ease, That it's one of them Grecian frieze.
Ryan Stiles : Well you know, carving is lots of fun. It's cheaper to buy rocks by the ton. I like it when I'm carving when I'm alone, But I find it's a lot easier when I'm stoned.
Josie Lawrence : Everybody chisel your marble, chisel with ease. Chisel your marble please. Chisel your marble, chisel it right down, When you're sculpting you won't wear, you won't wear a frown. Chisel your marble, thats all I can say. Hit the stone and hit it every day. You can make most everything you want, Chisel your marble, chisel it right down.
-
[Party Quirks - Tony Slattery, as host, answers the "door" to Ryan Stiles]
Ryan Stiles : [running in with his hands flapping behind his back like a sperm's tail] Where's the women? Where's the women? There's no women here!
-
[as old men in a nursing home]
Colin Mochrie : I've got a big date tonight.
Ryan Stiles : Oh really, ya going out for puddin'?
-
Tony Slattery : [World's Worst things to see while flipping through channels] It's Anne Diamond!
Ryan Stiles : [in a trance] No, I won't turn the channel Satan
Greg Proops : [as an Alien] Citizens of Earth, remain in your homes
[cracking up]
Greg Proops : send me-
[buzz]
Ryan Stiles : They're nipples, identical nipples!
Mike McShane : It's the OJ Simpson trial, year 2550!
Greg Proops : [goes up as Clive, immediate buzz] OHHHH!
Mike McShane : Hi, welcome to the serial killer home shopping network, and look at these knives!
Tony Slattery : Oh, it's that show where Clive patronizes everyone!
Clive Anderson : Don't bring Clive James into this!
Tony Slattery : No, I meant Clive Anderson!
Mike McShane : It's the OJ Simpson trial- Hey, he's being defended by Clive Anderson! Ha!
-
Greg Proops : [after a scene in a bathtub] I think we've learned something from this, Delbert!
Ryan Stiles : We sure have! Number One- never take a bath with another man!
-
Colin Mochrie : My God! A hamster with explosives round its waist!
Ryan Stiles : That's Jerry. You see they don't use bars here they just wire up small animals. A squirrel or a rabbit could go off at any second!
Colin Mochrie : That's Inhuman!
-
Ryan Stiles : Oh, yeah, baby! C'mon and show me what you got! Hang on... MOM?
-
Brad : We must kill that monster!
Ryan Stiles : His name's Gary!
Mike McShane : Gary!
Colin Mochrie : Gary, Gary!
-
Colin Mochrie : Salami is the breadth of life.
Ryan Stiles : Salami is my world I live in.
Colin Mochrie : I am your bread.
Ryan Stiles : Yay for salami! Yay for salami!
-
Colin Mochrie : [during a "Star Wars" Whose Line, as Luke Skywalker] I read the Jedi handbook you gave me. I was a little confused by page one, where it says,
[reads paper with line]
Colin Mochrie : , "My shorts are on fire".
Ryan Stiles : [as Obi-Wan Kenobi] Yes, it helps you to use The Force.
-
Niall Ashdown : [Number of Words. Ryan can only speak in one word, Steve Frost can only speak in five, Niall can only speak in three] Are you new?
Steve Frost : No, I'm just... a little...
[tilts his head]
Ryan Stiles : Inebriated?
Steve Frost : Yes! You've seen through it!
