A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Michael Palin: Ken

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ken : Rev-enge!

  Otto : [laughing]  It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?

• Wanda : I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.

  Ken : Good.

• Otto : You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly.

  Ken : What you...?

  Otto : We could have a lot of fun together, you and I. And I think we'd be really good for each other. What do you say?

  Ken : You must be j-j-j...

  Otto : May I kiss you, Ken?

  [tries to kiss him] 

  Ken : No, you fucking can't!

  [runs away] 

• [after steamrollering Otto] 

  Ken : "K-k-k-k-Ken." You bastard. Hey, I've lost my stutter. It's gone. I can speak. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

• Otto : You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction.

  Ken : Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh

  Otto : Shit on you?

  Ken : Show off all the t-time.

• [Ken drives at Otto with a steamroller. Otto laughs, until he realizes his feet are trapped in cement, and his gun is empty] 

  Otto : Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken! Kenny! I... may I call you Kenny?

  Ken : Remember Wanda!

  Otto : I got the deal of a lifetime! Fifty-fifty, you and me, what do you say! Okay, okay, okay, sixty-forty! That's my final offer!

  Ken : REVENGE!

  Otto : Wait, I got an idea! You take it all! Yeah, here's my boarding pass, Ken!

  Ken : I'm gonna, I'm gonna k-ka, kill you!

  Otto : Okay, fine, Ken! Come at me, give me your best shot! Go on, Ken! You don't have the guts, admit it!

  [the steamroller bears down on him] 

  Otto : Okay, you have the guts, good... wait!

  Ken : Death!

  Otto : Okay, I'm-sorry-I-ate-your-fish, okay? I'm-sorry!

  Ken : Revenge!

  Otto : Jesus, I said I'm sorry! What the fu-?

  [He goes under the steamroller] 

  Otto : AAAAHHHH!

  Ken : Got him!

• Otto : [to Ken about Mrs Coady]  What does he want you to do? Send her flowers? Do her shopping? Show her a good time? Rub her out? Rub her out?

  Otto : [gleefully]  HE'S GOING TO KILL HER! HA HA HA!

  Ken : Shut up!

  Otto : [shows his gun to a group of onlookers]  Fuck off or I'll kill you. LIMEY FRUITS! So the old lady's gonna m-m- meet with an accident, eh K-K-Ken?

  Ken : Shh!

  [Otto laughs] 

  Ken : What's - what's so funny?

  Otto : Nothing, it's just that wasting old ladies isn't NICE!

  Ken : [angrily]  Well it's better than b-b-buggering people!

  Otto : I'll bet you a pound you don't kill her.

  Ken : Alright.

  Otto : Alright. I love watching your ass when you walk! Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him! He's mine! A pound says you won't kill her! Ha ha!

• Ken : Otto t-t-tried to k-k-kiss me.

  Wanda : I thought he might.

• Otto : You really like animals, don't you, Ken? What's the attraction?

  Ken : Because you can t-t-trust them, and they don't sh-sh-sh...

  Otto : Shit on you?

  Ken : Show off all the time.

  Otto : Know what Nietzsche said about them? He said they were God's second blunder.

• Ken : Otto! You owe me a pou-p-pou...

• Otto : Well, Ken, I'm going to ask you some questions, while I eat my chips. First: Who was the philosopher who developed the concept of the superman in Also sprach Zarathustra?

  [pause] 

  Otto : No? That's a chip up the nose, I'm afraid. Friedrich Nietzsche. Next: In which book did Nietzsche claim that almost all higher culture is based on cruelty?

  [pause] 

  Otto : Are you thinking or in mid-stutter?

  Ken : You're m-m-mad.

  Otto : Beyond Good and Evil. Guess I'll have to ask you an easy one, huh, Ken? Okay. Um... Let me think, let me think. Um... Where are the diamonds?