Columbo (TV Series)

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Columbo (1990)

Roscoe Lee Browne: Dr. Steadman

Quotes 

• Dr. Steadman : Well, perhaps the lieutenant would like to see a menu?

  Columbo : Ah, that won't be necessary, sir.

  [as Maitre D' walks away with back turned,] 

  Columbo : I'll just have a BLT on white toast and cream soda.

  Maitre D' : [Maitre D' abruptly turns around, and while filling out menu, says]  One embarcadero garni.

  Columbo : Thank you very much.

  [Looking at Dr. Steadman's plate] 

  Columbo : What are they, snails?

  Dr. Steadman : Escargo dipped in garlic butter. Flavor is fantastic.

  Columbo : Oh garlic, that's what I smell. What's it for?

  [pause] 

  Columbo : To kill the taste of the snails?

  Maitre D' : [Returning with plate 5 minutes later]  Your embarcadero, sir. Garni.

  Columbo : Ah, excuse me, I just ordered a B.L.T., what's all this?

  Maitre D' : That's garni, sir.

  Columbo : Oh. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not feeling too hungry. Maybe you could put this in a doggie bag and I'll eat it on the plane?

  Maitre D' : [With expression of disdain]  Of course, sir.

  Columbo : Thank you. Ah, just the sandwich. The garni... you can keep the garni.