Look Who's Talking (1989)

George Segal: Albert

Photos 

Quotes 

• Albert : He has my eyes.

  Mollie : I know he does. You don't know how confusing it is when someone you love so much looks like someone you hate.

• Mollie : If we ever got back together I'm afraid I would have to torture you for the rest of your life.

  Albert : Oh, that's okay. I want you to.

• James : Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal?

  Albert : I don't know.

  James : Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things?

  Albert : Okay how much is she paying you? 5 dollars an hour?

  [Gives James a 20] 

  Albert : Here go play some video games.

  James : Don't give me that shit.

  [They start fighting] 

• Albert : I've raised my kids.

  Mollie : Raised them? They're 11 and 9. Don't tell me they've moved out and gotten jobs already!

• [Molly's dream] 

  Albert : Beth has finally agreed to a divorce. Oh, Mollie I'm so glad you waited.

  Mollie : [greatly aged]  I knew that if I was patient, this day would come.

• Albert : [sees Mikey making a face]  Is he taking a dump?

  Mollie : No, he's thinking real hard!

• Albert : Do you have a picture of Mickey?

  [she is impatient at Albert getting their son's name wrong more than once] 

  Mollie : MIKEY!

• Mollie : [Albert is feeling up Mollie's leg]  Al-Albert, stop. Albert, I can't do this anymore.

  Albert : Mollie, I love you, and you love me. I know you do.

  Mollie : Of course I love you, Albert. You're a wonderful father. You're great in bed, and you're my biggest account. But you're married. And I will never fall in love with anyone else as long as I'm seeing you, so think you should just work with a different accountant.

• Mollie : My doctor says my breathing's fine.

  Albert : You have to do what's best for the baby. When Beth was pregnant...

  Mollie : Oh I am so SICK of hearing about Beth! Beth Beth Beth Beth! I'm having a hard time figuring out how you could be in love with her and then in love with someone like me. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make out a will, when Beth had the girls she got a reading of their past lives!

• Albert : I know this may be hard to understand, but I'm going through a selfish phase right now.

  Mollie : A selfish phase?

  Albert : I admit the timing is bad.

• Albert : Oh God, Mollie, I'm going to burst if you don't kiss me.

  Mollie : Tough.