Meet the Feebles (1989)
Mark Hadlow: Heidi the Hippo, Barry the Bulldog, Robert the hedgehog
Photos
Quotes
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Trevor : All right, you fat slag! Move your ass!
Heidi : How dare you speak to me like that! You horrible, spiteful little rat!
Trevor : I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer!
Heidi : I won't stand for this treatment any longer. I'm an artiste. I demand respect.
Trevor : Artiste, that's a good one.
Heidi : That's it! I've had enough! I'm going straight to Bletch
[runs off to Bletch's office]
Trevor : You do that, darling!
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Heidi : Eat lead you man-stealing slut!
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Bletch : [Heading to the golf course] Hey Barry, how's your handicap?
Barry the Bulldog : She's at home boss. Baking a cake.
[All laugh]
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Heidi : [Heidi destroys the "Garden of Love" set due to her overeating and clumsiness] It wasn't my fault!
Sebastian : You've been overeating again!
Heidi : [lying] No I haven't.
[Sebastian picks up cake wedge]
Sebastian : There is Black Forest Cherry Cake in your cleavage.
Heidi : [sheepishly] Oh. How did that get there?
Sebastian : You know what chocolate does to your system.
Heidi : [protesting] It was only a small wedge.
Sebastian : [angrily] Your contract specifically states you are forbidden to eat gateaux on the day of a performance.
Heidi : I was depressed.
Sebastian : [livid] You're depressed? We're going out live in three hours, for God's sake!
Heidi : Don't speak to me like that!
[throws Sebastian off her]
Heidi : You don't understand! None of you understand! Bletch! Bletch!
[runs off to Bletch's office]
Sebastian : [sadly] Suddenly, I feel very, very old.
[behind him, a patio collapses]
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[last lines]
Arthur the worm : Miss Heidi. I know you're a real star and all that. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dob you in.
Heidi : Could you do one last thing Arthur?
Arthur the worm : Anything, Miss Heidi.
Heidi : Play the Garden of Love.
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Heidi : [as Bletch prepares himself a glass of champagne, Heidi appears in his office] Hello, Bletch.
[turns on lamp]
Bletch : Heidi, what the hell are you doing here?
Heidi : Congratulations. The show was a wonderful success.
Bletch : What do you want?
Heidi : Our encounter this afternoon was so brief! I thought you might like a second helping.
[takes her dress off]
Bletch : Heidi! For Christ's sake, put your dress back on!
Heidi : Come and sit next to me.
Bletch : If it's too hot for you, I can turn on the air conditioning!
Heidi : I'm hot Bletch, but not the way you think.
[wiggles her body on couch, Bletch looks away in disgust]
Heidi : You're not feeling shy, are you Bletch?
[takes her bras off and approaches Bletch]
Heidi : Do you remember that time in Paris? We didn't leave the hotel for three whole days!
Bletch : I remember all right. I had to go to the hospital with severe chafing.
Heidi : Kiss me, Bletch.
[Bletch slaps her away from him]
Bletch : Get away from me, you shuddering, mound of blubber! Have you any idea how revolting you look?
Heidi : [shocked] Bletch! No!
Bletch : You disgust me! Look at you! You're old and you're fat, and you smell... BAD!
Heidi : No!
[collapses at the door]
Bletch : I was going to wait till after the show, but I might as well tell you now. You through with the Feebles! I don't need you! I've got a syndicated series... and I'm grooming Samantha to be the star.
Heidi : [heartbroken] No.
Bletch : I hope you enjoyed tonight. That was your last performance!
[throws Heidi's dress in her face]
Bletch : Now get out of here!
[Heidi runs out of the office in tears]
