Christmas Vacation (1989)

William Hickey: Lewis

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aunt Bethany : [Hearing a squeak]  What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound.

  Uncle Lewis : You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

• Clark : Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.

  Aunt Bethany : [turns to Lewis]  What, dear?

  Nora Griswold : Grace!

  Aunt Bethany : Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.

  Uncle Lewis : They want you to say Grace.

  [Bethany shakes her head in confusion] 

  Uncle Lewis : The BLESSING!

  Aunt Bethany : [they all pose for prayer suddenly, Aunt Bethany recites the pledge of allegiance]  I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands

  [Cousin Eddie stands and places his hand over his heart] 

  Aunt Bethany : One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

  Clark : Amen.

• Uncle Lewis : [Clark is cleaning up the garbage off the kitchen floor after the dog went through it]  Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey.

  Clark : Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?

  Ellen : He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.

  Clark : If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.

• Uncle Lewis : Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.

  Clark : Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.

  Uncle Lewis : Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.

• Ellen : Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that.

  Aunt Bethany : Oh dear, did I break wind?

  Uncle Lewis : Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.

• [Uncle Lewis lights his cigar accidentally burns the Christmas tree] 

  Clark : Lewis? My tree!

  Uncle Lewis : So what's the matter with you?

  Clark : Look what you've done to my tree!

• Uncle Lewis : [Everyone goes outside to look at the 'Christmas Star"]  That's not the friggin' Christmas Star, Gris... Its the light at the sewerage treatment plant.

  Clark : [Realizing that there is gas in the storm sewer, and Uncle Lewis is lighting a cigar]  Sewer gas!... NO DON'T LIGHT THAT!

  [There is an explosion, and Uncle Lewis is thrown clear] 

• Uncle Lewis : oh well that was an ugly tree anyway.

• Uncle Lewis : What is that?