- Peter Gunn: But if he was working for Amatti, why didn't he shoot Spiros?... If he was my fairy godmother, why didn't he shoot Spiros?
- Lieutenant Jacoby: What's Bernice doing in Crete, anyway?
- Peter Gunn: You'll have to ask Zorba.
- Lieutenant Jacoby: Who's Zorba?
- Peter Gunn: You'll have to ask Bernice.
- Det. Russo: [Pointing to Maggie, who has passed out on the floor] Huh?
- Peter Gunn: My secretary.
- Det. Russo: I thought Bernice was?
- Peter Gunn: In Crete.
- Det. Russo: Who's she?
- Peter Gunn: My secretary.
- Maggie: Maggie.
- Det. Russo: What happened to Bernice?
- Rusty: In Crete.
- Peter Gunn: Visiting Zorba's parents.
- Peter Gunn: Let's see you sink the sixteen ball.
- Speck: There is no sixteen ball.
- Peter Gunn: [Hands Speck a Twenty] Well, if you run across one, keep in touch.
- Lieutenant Jacoby: You saw the shooters?
- Peter Gunn: No.
- Lieutenant Jacoby: Then how did you know they were working for Catulis?
- Peter Gunn: A natural assumption.
- Lieutenant Jacoby: You assumed?
- Peter Gunn: Yeah. Wouldn't you?
- Lieutenant Jacoby: Yeah.
- [Peter Gunn mocks his former partner's predictability]
- Peter Gunn, Lieutenant Jacoby: [in unison] Where the hell have you been? Don't be a smart-ass.
- [Peter Gunn shoots a man down with his hands cuffed behind him]
- Lieutenant Jacoby: You couldn't do that again in a million years.
- Peter Gunn: Well, hopefully, I won't have to...