Have I Got News for You (1990– )
Des Lynam: Self - Guest Presenter
Quotes
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Des Lynam : Do you know how the police refer to victims of crime?
Ian Hislop : Customers?
Des Lynam : Yes!
Ian Hislop : What does that make criminals - clients?
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[Osama bin Laden's brother has released a perfume, described as 'inner peace in a bottle']
Des Lynam : Sod the perfume, if you want inner peace, shoot your brother!
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Des Lynam : Archer has issued a strenuous denial - as good as a signed confession, really!
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Des Lynam : [During a discussion on short-sighted dogs receiving spectacles, or doggles] Getting their vision back could be a bit of a shock - "oh, so *that's* what I've been sniffing all this time!"
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Des Lynam : [on Mark Thatcher being implicated in a coup] After Archer was implicated, we thought it couldn't happen to a nicer person. How wrong we were!
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Paul Merton : I can see you as Zorro!
Ian Hislop : Zorro, the gay blade!
Des Lynam : I've never been accused of that - yet!
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Des Lynam : At the CBI Conference it was claimed that there would be no unskilled jobs in Britain in ten years. Does this mean Dixons is closing?