Have I Got News for You (1990– )
Ross Noble: Self, Self - Guest Captain
Photos
Quotes
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Ross Noble : [about Winona Ryder claiming she was rehearsing for a role during her shoplifting trial] So does that basically mean that if you commit a crime, as long you can somehow link it to your job, it's all right? Like, if you're, like, murdering somebody with a hammer, if you go "Oh, well, I'm a master cobbler and I was just practising."
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Gary Lineker : Sightings of a Werewolf in Hull are attributed to the mythical story of Old Stinker.
Ross Noble : A great film though! American Werewolf in Hull!
Paul Merton : "What have you done to yer waistcoat! It's all ripped down the back, Arnold! I don't know, every time there's a full Moon I have to buy you a new Jacket!"
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Gary Lineker : Queen Spotted in What?
Ian Hislop : Dick!
Gary Lineker : There goes the knighthood, Ian!
Ross Noble : Queen spotted like a Leopard?
Gary Lineker : The Queens head was spotted in a puddle by a care worker!
Ian Hislop : There seems to be a stake underneath! A good Republican Puddle!
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Boris Johnson's Sister : Welcome to my World of Pain!
Ross Noble : Fair play to you.
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Ross Noble : I got One Direction to go in the other direction.
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Ross Noble : She was supposed to say They've been out there shaking hands and kissing babies, and, I swear to God, she said "They've been out there shaking babies... What?"
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Jo Brand : I'm going to ask you lot, now, what's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?
Ross Noble : Yeah, go on, Ian!
Paul Merton : Tell them about the threesome with Lady Antonia Fraser and Harold Pinter!
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Host : Has anyone met the Queen?
Ross Noble : I once saw Brian May out of a bus.
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Ross Noble : Gordon Brown looks like he's been inflated, but not enough.
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Ross Noble : So, our Culture Secretary is most famous for eating Kangeroo Penis?
Ian Hislop : That's not fair! It was Octopus Anus.
Ross Noble : At the Conference or on IACGMOOH?
Ian Hislop : Anyway, she ate the Anus and now she's talking out of it!
