- Eddie: This is a sex shop isn't it?
- Shop Assistant: Yes.
- Eddie: [slaps money down] I'll have five quid's worth then!
- Shop Assistant: Very droll sir, I've never heard that one before.
- Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?
- Shop Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
- Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.
- Richie: [on various occasions seducing women, well, trying anyway] May I say, what a SMASHING blouse you have on?
- Richie: Your name's Spudgun, Spudgun? Why do they call you Spudgun?
- Spudgun: Give me a Potato and I'll show you.
- Dave Hedgehog: Hi, I'm Dave Hedgehog!
- Richie: Why do they call you Dave Hedgehog?
- Dave Hedgehog: Give me a Hedgehog and I'll show you.