Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Kristy Swanson: Buffy

Photos 

51 more photos

Quotes 

• [Amilyn has lost an arm] 

  Amilyn : We're immortal, Buffy. We can do anything.

  Buffy : Oh yeah? Clap.

• Buffy : All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it's swell. And you come along and tell me I'm a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

• Buffy : Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

• Buffy : Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?

• Buffy : I have something that the other girls didn't have.

  Merrick : And what might that be, pray?

  Buffy : My keen fashion sense!

  Merrick : Oh, vampires of the world beware.

• Buffy : Pike isn't a name, it's a fish.

• Buffy : Are you okay?

  Pike : I can't move my legs.

  Buffy : Why?

  Pike : 'Cause you're sittin' on them.

• Buffy : [to weird stranger Merrick]  Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots?

• [after punching Merrick] 

  Buffy : Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.

  Merrick : Really? Well you did it perfectly.

  Buffy : I didn't even break a nail.

• Buffy : You left me a message?

  Jeffrey : You weren't home! Like always.

  Buffy : You broke up with my machine?

• Buffy : You threw a knife at my head!

  Merrick : Yes, I had to show you.

  Buffy : But... you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*

  Merrick : And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.

• Buffy : I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a *school night*.

• Buffy : Don't worry. They can't come in unless they're invited.

  Kimberly : I already invited 'em.

  [Buffy looks at her] 

  Kimberly : They're seniors!

• Buffy : Merrick, you made a joke. Are you okay? Do you want to lie down? I know it hurts the first time

• Lothos : [Buffy holds up a cross]  This is your defense? Puh-lease. Your puny faith?

  Buffy : No.

  [the cross ignites in flames and she tosses the cap off a hairspray can] 

  Buffy : My keen fashion sense.

  [she sprays the flames, shooting them at his face] 

• Nicole : Buff, I don't see why we have to invite every single senior.

  Buffy : Because it's the senior dance. It's just a shot in the dark.

• Lothos : You and I are one.

  Buffy : One what? Cute couple? I don't THINK so.

• Buffy : [to the weird stranger who tries to get into the elevator]  Excuse much! Rude or anything?

• Kimberly : Buffy? What's your sitch? You're acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It's too weird.

  Buffy : Listen, a lot's been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-...

  Kimberly : Oh my god, you're having an affair?

  Nicole : Cool!

  Jennifer : Does Jeffrey know?

  Buffy : It's not about that. He's, like, old. He's fifty.

  Kimberly , Nicole , Jennifer : Ewwwww!

  Jennifer : Gross!

  Buffy : Haven't you guys noticed what's been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?

  Nicole : What are you talking about?

  Kimberly : Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?

  Buffy : Pike.

  Nicole : [gasp]  Eww, you're having an affair with him?

  Jennifer : He doesn't look fifty.

  Buffy : Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.

• Nicole : You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you.

  Buffy : Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador, like I'm ever going to Spain anyway.

• Buffy : [Merrick has taken Buffy to the graveyard]  D'you have any gum?

• Buffy : Three weeks ago, all I thought about was... well I didn't actually think about anything.

• Buffy : [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance]  The environment.

  Nicole : The homelesses?

  Kimberly : [to Nicole]  Oh, please.

  Jennifer : Are there any good sicknesses that aren't too depressing?

  Buffy : Guys. The environment. I'm telling you, it's totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting's doing it.

• Merrick : None of the other girls ever gave me this much trouble.

  Buffy : And where are they now? Hello!

• Merrick : [Trying to explain that Buffy's a vampire slayer]  I've searched the entire world for you, Buffy. To bring you... your birthright.

  Buffy : My birthright?

  [Slightly excited] 

  Buffy : You mean, like a trust fund?

• Merrick : You do everything wrong.

  Buffy : Sorry.

  Merrick : No. Do it wrong. Don't play our game.

• Merrick : And you're going to be able to use that to track them.

  Buffy : Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

  Merrick : It's not a weapon. It's an alert system.

  Buffy : Well, aren't we kung fu? I don't see you out there killing any vampires.

  Merrick : I play my part.

  Buffy : You can play with your part all you want, but it's my neck on the block.

• Pike : Buffy, you're the guy. You are the chosen guy.

  Buffy : Right. I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

• Buffy's Mom : Bye-bye, Bobby!

  Jeffrey : Bye!

  [to Buffy:] 

  Jeffrey : She thinks my name is Bobby?

  Buffy : It's possible she thinks *my* name's Bobby.

• Buffy's Mom : [Buffy walks in late]  Do you know what time it is?

  Buffy : Uh... around ten?

  Buffy's Mom : [looks at her watch]  I *knew* this thing was slow. You pay a fortune for something...

  [shouts to Buffy's father] 

  Buffy's Mom : Honey, come on, we're gonna be late!

• Biker : Hey, babe. You want to get some real power between your legs?

  Buffy : Yeah, I do.

  [steals his motorcycle] 

  Biker : Dyke! You're a dyke! I'm telling the world!

• Buffy : Is that your van?

  Pike : Yeah, it was. It's still...

  Shambling Vampire : BluaaaahUGH!

• Buffy : I thought that look was over.

  Kimberly : Well, it's Retro.

• Buffy's Dad : Okay, honey, be good.

  [kisses Buffy] 

  Buffy's Dad : And stay away from the Jag!

  Buffy : Goodbye.

• Buffy : It's a stupid dance with stupid people I see every stupid day!

• Buffy : [had a bad day at school]  Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador. Like I'm *ever* going to Spain, anyway.

• Buffy : [Merrick's followed her into the girls' locker room]  What are you doing here? This is a naked place!