The Itsy Bitsy Spider (1992)

Andrea Martin: Music Teacher

Quotes 

• The Exterminator : [gets out a spider tracking device] 

  Music Teacher : What is that?

  The Exterminator : It's a high-tech microchip thermonuclear light-sensitive radioactive blue-screen laptop computer generator triple decker arachnid detector and etch-a-sketch, any more questions?

• The Exterminator : [attaching a huge tube to the vent] 

  Music Teacher : What's this big thing?

  The Exterminator : It's a highly virulent malodorous toxic poison that upon contact will burn and corrode, you might want to crack a window.

• The Exterminator : [getting out a super strong vacuum cleaner] 

  Music Teacher : What is that thing?

  The Exterminator : This is my bugmatic auto-suction compressor with turbocharged instant matter multi-detachment, it really sucks.

• The Exterminator : [after failed killing Itsy Bitsy]  He leaves me no alternatives, but to bomb the house.

  Little Girl : I gotta get out of here!

  [bikes away at a far distance] 

  Music Teacher : BOMB DE HOUSE? You mean like the Hoffmires there?

  The Itsy Bitsy Spider : Duh.

• [last lines] 

  Music Teacher : [her house in ruins]  Help me... call 911...

  [the cat angrily hits the teacher's head with an iron pipe] 

  Little Girl : [to Itsy]  I guess next week's lesson is off, huh?

  [they laugh and cycle off]