Peter's Friends (1992)
Rita Rudner: Carol Benson
Photos
Quotes
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Carol : I am not angry. I am just embarrassed. Is there anyone else down there you used to sleep with?
Andrew : It was 10 years ago! Christ, 10 years ago, you were married to someone else.
Carol : That is not the point. I did not try to keep it a secret.
Andrew : I didn't try and keep it a secret. I just didn't think it was worth mentioning.
Carol : Didn't think it was worth mentioning? You were ENGAGED to that FUCK-MONSTER down there and you didn't think it was worth MENTIONING?
Andrew : No, I didn't!
Carol : So she WAS a fuck-monster.
Andrew : I did NOT say that!
Carol : You did not DENY it!
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Carol : [giving Vera a £5 note as a bribe] Why don't you do me a baked potato, steam me a few carrots and grill me a piece of chicken without the skin?
Vera , Paul's Mom : [returning the £5 note] Why don't you go down to the shops, buy whatever you want and cook it yourself?
Carol : Did you never see "Upstairs, Downstairs"?
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Maggie : [explaining her disastrous come-on to Peter] I went upstairs and threw my clothes off.
Carol : That's direct. What'd he say?
Maggie : [beginning to sob] He said he wasn't in the vagina business.
Carol : [taken aback] That's direct too... Has Peter ever been in the vagina business?
Maggie : Yes. He slept with Sarah!
Carol : Oh, there's a surprise. Was she engaged to Peter too?
Maggie : No, they just had a brief affair.
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Carol : Thank you very much for dinner, Peter. I enjoyed watching it.
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Carol : [doing aerobics] I could FEEL the cellulite building up on me on the plane. I wonder if any airlines have planes with gyms ON them.
Andrew : It's funny. I was gonna suggest we flew Gym Air, but I thought you'd prefer a plane with a seat.
Carol : I think a gym on a plane is a GOOD idea.
Andrew : And that's what makes you, you, darling.
Carol : Now, you promised you'd be nicer to me on this trip.
Andrew : That's cuz I thought we'd be getting away from it all. I didn't realize you were gonna bring it all with you.
Carol : You'd love me less if I were fat.
Andrew : [hesitates, about to speak, sighs] I think I'll take a walk.
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[Paul, Brian and the chauffeur have brought Carol's bags into the room]
Carol : [handing some money to the chauffeur] Thank you.
The Benson's Chauffeur : [accepts the money] Thank you, madam.
[leaves]
Carol : [handing some money to Paul] Thank you.
Paul : [accepts the money] Oh, Ta.
[Leaves]
Carol : [holding out some money to Brian] Thank you.
Brian, Sarah's Escort : [holding his hands up] No, no, I'm a guest.
Carol : [puzzled] A guest? Then, why did you carry my bags?
Brian, Sarah's Escort : I don't know.
[Leaves]
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Carol : Therapists call me for advice.