Undercover Blues (1993)

Kathleen Turner: Jane Blue

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jane Blue : Let me see if I understand this correctly. You took our child into a knife fight?

  Jeff Blue : It was a fair fight - two of them, two of us...

• Det. Sgt. Halsey : [watching as Jeff walks out to a parade of jazz musicians and borrows a trumpet to play]  That's your husband.

  Jane Blue : I know.

  Det. Sgt. Halsey : Does he know how to play the trumpet?

  Jane Blue : Apparently.

• Jeff Blue : [to Frank]  Did we ever thank you for that crib blanket?

  Jane Blue : Oh no, honey, the White House sent the crib blanket. Frank sent the Fisher-Price Barnyard.

  Jeff Blue : You sent that? Aw, do you know those cows really moo?

  Jane Blue : Jeff plays with it day and night.

• Jeff Blue : Oh, hi guys. Hey, you can go to a strip joint. We're just going to spend a quiet evening at home.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : Oh, thanks. We appreciate that, *Mr.* Blue.

  Jane Blue : Oh, anything we can do to make your lives easier.

  Det. Sgt. Halsey : Isn't the baby a little young for dolls?

  Jeff Blue : Oh, it's for me. It's a post-feminist doll.

  Jane Blue : Yeah. Goes to work with little sneakers on, but resents it.

  Jeff Blue : See ya.

  Jane Blue : Night.

  Det. Sgt. Halsey : Bye.

  [to Ted] 

  Det. Sgt. Halsey : You know, they're really very interesting people.

• Jane Blue : [to Sawyer]  Jeff's a lousy shot. He had to bribe the examiner at the FBI.

  Jeff Blue : That's a lie. I bribed the guy at the CIA. I *blackmailed* the guy at the FBI.

• Jane Blue : [crawls in the bedroom window of the hotel, begins to take off the bag lady costume]  You know, I don't believe men.

  [takes out fake teeth] 

  Jane Blue : You know three guys tried to pick me up, tonight?

  Jeff Blue : Oh well, I can understand that.

  Jane Blue : You can?

  Jeff Blue : Yeah.

  Jane Blue : My mother was right about you.

  [she continues removing pieces of clothing] 

  Jane Blue : So, did she wake up?

  Jeff Blue : Just once, around midnight, just wanted to be held. So, so, so, tell me, tell me; how'd it go? Did Morty go for it?

  Jane Blue : [lifts her shirt and lets the fake stomach fall away]  Of course he went for it.

  [she removes her wig] 

  Jane Blue : God, I am so tired...

  Jeff Blue : [he flips across the bed and grabs her before she can remove any more of her costume, while making a negative grunting sound, and then pulls her down onto the bed and climbs on top of her]  Keep the makeup on!

  Jane Blue : Why?

  Jeff Blue : [grins]  I don't know, it's kind of a... a turn on!

  Jane Blue : Yaaahhhh! You disgust me!

  [playfully hits Jeff and wrestles with him] 

• Jeff Blue : You know what's funny? That gray van over there.

  Jane Blue : Funny ha-ha or funny interesting?

• Jane Blue : [whispering to Jeff in the hall after they've return to find their hotel room door open]  One man on the couch, reading.

  Jeff Blue : A *literate* burglar? How refreshing!

• Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : Where are you from?

  Jane Blue : North Adams, Massachusetts. Why?

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : Just asking.

• Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : My source at the FBI said they didn't think you were, and I quote, "Bureau material."

  Jeff Blue : That's true. I'm more of an end table.

  Jane Blue : I always thought of you as a dining room chair.

  Jeff Blue : Really? I see you as a rosewood armoire with really nice drawers.

• Jane Blue : [Jane has just disarmed Muerte and thrown him into a wall, knocking him senseless]  I can't leave you alone for a minute.

  Jeff Blue : This wasn't my fault.

  Jane Blue : Nothing's ever your fault. You gonna kill him?

  Jeff Blue : Aren't we bloodthirsty today? I told you not to drink all that coffee.

• Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : What just happened here?

  Jeff Blue : I'd say it was a domestic disturbance.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : A domestic disturbance?

  Jeff Blue : Yeah like on the Honeymooners. You remember how Ralph used to fight with Alice.

  Det. Sgt. Halsey : I don't recollect Ralph using semi-automatic weapons.

  Jane Blue : But Norton sometimes did. And Mrs. Manacotti on the third floor, wow what a temper.

• Jane Blue : [while she and Jeff are kissing on the bed]  Kill the light.

  [Jeff quickly flips off of her, smashes the lamp against the wall, and the flips back over on top of her. She starts laughing] 

  Jane Blue : I meant turn it off.

• Jane Blue : We can tell you part of the story.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : You can tell me all of the story.

  Jeff Blue : Part or nothing.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : Well, how about we bust your ass for B and E.

  Jane Blue : Well, how about we talk to that nice governor of yours.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : [beat]  Okay, tell me part of the story.

  Jeff Blue : Well, it's hard to know where to begin. My father was a steam fitter, and...

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : Come on man, the *relevant* part.

• Jane Blue : [Jane, disguised as the bag lady sits next to Muerte at the bar]  I know you!

  Muerte : Everybody know me! I am Muerte!

  Jane Blue : You're the guy that got stomped, by that guy and the baby! Heh Heh!

  Muerte : Hey! Don't provoke me! OK?

  Jane Blue : You wanna get back at him? I know someone who will pay big!

  Muerte : You don't know nada.

  Jane Blue : OK! I don't know *nada*. But this guy, said *Muerte*, he's the guy for the job!

  [starts to get up] 

  Muerte : Wait!

  [grabs Jane by the arm forcing her to sit back down] 

  Muerte : Who told you this?

  Jane Blue : You gotta buy me a drink first.

  Muerte : What would you like?

• Jeff Blue : Better put something on, the cops are coming.

  Jane Blue : The cops are coming?

  Jeff Blue : Yeah, you know big badges, blue uniforms.

• Frank : The FBI thinks it's organized crime.

  Jane Blue : Ah, the FBI thinks *everything* is organized crime.

• Jane Blue : [Muerte has been disarmed and Jeff has his arm in a hold when Jane approaches them, carrying shopping bags]  Now what?

  Jeff Blue : Oh, hi, hon. You remember, I told you about Morty. Morty, this is Jane.

  [pushes Muerte towards Jane] 

  Jane Blue : Oh, hi, Morty, look it's nice to meet you, but we've just got so much shopping to do...

  Muerte : [pulls another switchblade from his boot and points it at her]  Shut up! Shut up! You die too!

  Jane Blue : Oh for God's sakes...

• Jeff Blue : [Jeff and Jane have broken into a dead man's house to search it]  That's funny.

  Jane Blue : What?

  Jeff Blue : A shoe.

  Jane Blue : And?

  Jeff Blue : It's got a foot in it.

• Jeff Blue : I was walking at 8 months.

  Jane Blue : You were walking at a year and a half. Your mother was ready to call in specialists.

• Jane Blue : [while Meurte is floating on a life preserver in the ocean]  Is there anything I can get for you? You know; coffee, tea?

  Muerte : [considers the offer]  Coffee? Tea? No, no, I'm fine, thank you very much. Just get me the hell out of here, please!

  Jeff Blue : Morty.

  Muerte : What?

  Jeff Blue : Ta-ta.

  Muerte : [whimpering]  Ta-ta.

  Jeff Blue : [Jane and Jeff sit back down at the helm of the ship]  Now, which way is Cuba?

  [Jane makes a face, then points to their left. He turns the wheel in that direction] 

  Muerte : [shouts from the water]  No, no, that's the wrong way! Please, come back! No, the land is back there behind you! Where are you going? Blue, no!

• Jane Blue : [to Ted]  You wait here.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : No way!

  Jeff Blue : Ted, Jane's an expert in martial arts even I can't pronounce. She can kill you three different ways without even using her hands. Do what she says.

  Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer : [after Jeff and Jane drive off]  Maybe I'll wait here.

• Jeff Blue : [about Novacek]  She's fretful. She's nervous.

  Jane Blue : You're describing a baby with colic.

• Jeff Blue : I never get to be the bad cop.

  Jane Blue : That's because you could never keep a straight face.

• Frank : C-22

  Jeff Blue : C-what?

  Jane Blue : Plastic explosive. The most powerful plastic ever developed. So unstable even the army won't use it.

  Jeff Blue : Oh, *that* C-22.

• Sawyer : Those are police cuffs. You can't get them off with a bobby pin!

  Jane Blue : [as she's unlocking Jeff's handcuffs]  You're absolutely right.

  Jeff Blue : Oh thanks, hon.

  Jane Blue : Want me to work on yours?

  Sawyer : Yeah, please.

• Sawyer : Look we gotta get out of here. Now follow me!

  Jane Blue : [mimicking his tone and intensity]  "Follow me?"

  Jeff Blue : Oh, give him his moment in the sun.

  Jane Blue : *What* sun?

• Jane Blue : [first lines - to her baby]  Oh, don't you love New Orleans?

  Jeff Blue : [to the baby]  Hey! Yeah, come on over here and dance with me, huh?

• Jane Blue : [as Jeff goes to leave out the garden doors]  I love you very much.

  Jeff Blue : [he stops]  You really do?

  Jane Blue : [she feigns that she's admitting it begrudgingly]  More and more and more every day.

  Jeff Blue : You know what's funny?

  Jane Blue : What?

  Jeff Blue : [he walks back over to her]  That's exactly how I feel.

  [he kisses her]