Chandler's flamboyant romance-novelist mother comes to visit, and Joey catches her kissing Ross. Meanwhile, Monica and Phoebe fight over a guy in a coma.
Rachel and Paolo's relationship hits a snag when he makes a pass at Phoebe. Ross refuses to find out the sex of his baby until it's born. Chandler and Joey go shopping for a new kitchen table.
Joey finds out his dad has a mistress. Rachel tries to even the score after Chandler inadvertently catches a glimpse of her breasts. Phoebe dates a shrink who analyzes the gang.
As Valentine's Day approaches; Ross and his date end up at the same restaurant as Carol and Susan, Joey inadvertently sets Chandler up on a blind date with Janice, and the girls burn mementos of their old boyfriends.
Monica cooks a gourmet meal for a restaurateur who is looking for a new chef, however he arrives at the apartment stoned. Meanwhile, Ross tries to master 'dirty talk'.
Phoebe feels neglected when Joey falls for her twin sister. Chandler struggles to fire an attractive co-worker. Ross attends Lamaze classes with Carol and Susan.
Rachel and Barry start dating again, despite the fact that he's now engaged to Mindy; Chandler goes nuts when a woman he likes won't return his phone calls.
Monica befriends the woman who stole her credit card. Ross is forced to give away Marcel. Joey tries to come up with a less ethnic-sounding stage name.
Monica gets a shock when she finds out her boyfriend is a high school student. Chandler finds out his colleagues don't like him when Phoebe temps as his secretary.
As Ross leaves for China, Chandler accidentally reveals Ross's feelings for Rachel. Joey takes part in a fertility study and is unable to sleep with his new girlfriend.
Rachel waits for Ross at the airport, unaware he has a new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Chandler has a frightening experience with Joey's tailor, and Phoebe gives Monica a bad haircut.
Monica goes shopping with Julie and tries to keep it a secret from Rachel. Ross is grossed out by Carol's breast milk. At his day job, Joey competes with a fellow cologne spritzer.
Mr. Heckles dies and leaves all his possessions to Monica and Rachel, Chandler worries he will die alone just like him. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica argue over a lamp, Phoebe and Ross argue over evolution.
When the gang find out Phoebe married a gay Canadian ice dancer for a green card, more of their secrets are revealed. Meanwhile, Rachel gives Ross bad advice on his relationship with Julie.
The gang are divided by income issues; Monica, Ross and Chandler make more money, while Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey don't. Chandler also uses a case of mistaken identity to his advantage.
Joey and Chandler are left to babysit Ben when Monica takes Ross to the hospital. Meanwhile, Phoebe loses her singing gig at Central Perk to a professional singer.
A drunken Rachel calls Ross and reveals her feelings for him on his answering machine. Meanwhile, Monica keeps busy by being Chandler's personal trainer and Phoebe constantly wonders why her current boyfriend won't sleep with her.
With help from Chandler and Joey, Ross makes a list of pros and cons to decide whether to be with Julie or Rachel. Meanwhile, Monica gets a job making dessert with a disgusting synthetic chocolate substitute.