- Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, you poor, poor dear. You could have married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel.
- [gives Fred a nasty glare]
- Pearl Slaghoople: Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse!
- Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.
- Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.
- [Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah.
- Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.
- Barney Rubble: [chases Dino] Hey, stop! Come back here, you purple rodent!
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn! Don't forget to wash that off before you eat it!
- [chuckles and drinks his Coke]
- Mrs. Pyrite: Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.
- [Presents Bamm-Bamm]
- Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, isn't he precious?
- Fred Flintstone: [aside to Wilma] Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
- Betty Rubble: Does he have a name?
- Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm.
- Barney Rubble: Is that short for something?
- Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one. He doesn't speak yet and is a little skittish around humans, but, then again, I would be too if I'd been raised by wild mastodons. Ha ha ha.
- Betty Rubble, Barney Rubble: Mastodons?
- Mrs. Pyrite: Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.
- Mr. Slate: Gentlemen, please, I can't endorse this modernization if it means laying off all those workers. Some of them have been here since the beginning of time.
- Cliff Vandercave: What if I could quadruple your income?
- Mr. Slate: I'll miss them. You were saying?
- Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, it all started when I lent money to Barney so he could adopt a baby.
- Mr. Slate: Not that. How did this happen to Cliff?
- [shows Cliff trapped in a hard rough substance]
- Fred Flintstone: Well, the machine went haywire and the rocks got crushed up and mixed with the water, and it got onto Cliff. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry.
- Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter, Concretia.
- Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?
- Fred Flintstone: [skids the car to an abrupt halt] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *su-PREME*!
- Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.
- Fred Flintstone: [relieved] Thanks, pal.
- Wilma Flintstone: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.
- Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
- Wilma Flintstone: And that is more important to you than 20 years of friendship?
- Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.
- Sharon Stone: Can I get you anything? Coffee?
- Fred Flintstone: Sure.
- Sharon Stone: [seductively] How would you like it?
- Fred Flintstone: In a cup?
- Sharon Stone: Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone! You'll go far in this company.
- Pearl Slaghoople: Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.
- Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.
- Fred Flintstone: I've got half a mind...!
- Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, don't flatter yourself!
- Sharon Stone: I'm worried, Cliff, I think Mr. Flintstone is smarter than we thought.
- Cliff Vandercave: Ha. He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
- Betty Rubble: You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.
- Barney Rubble: You too, huh?
- Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, they've changed. I hardly know them since Fred's become a big shot.
- Barney Rubble: And it should be us squanderin' all our money and treatin' our friends like dirt.
- Betty Rubble: What do you mean?
- Barney Rubble: Nothin'. Just sour grapes, I guess.
- Betty Rubble: Don't worry, Barney. It's gonna get better. One day, we'll look back on all this, and we'll laugh.
- Barney Rubble: Gee, I hope so, Betty, 'cause tomorrow they got me testing shark repellent.
- [they both grimace]
- Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy finding a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry.
- Betty Rubble: Aw, none of this was your fault, Fred. I'm sure Mr. Slate will understand.
- Mr. Slate: [screams] FLINTSTONE!
- Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.
- Wilma Flintstone: [when Barney and Betty are waiting for their adopted child] Fred? And promise me you won't say anything like what you did when you saw my sister's baby.
- Fred Flintstone: The kid had a tail? What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn't notice?
- [as Fred and Pearl argue]
- Wilma Flintstone: You two should be ashamed of yourselves!
- Pearl Slaghoople: I got my hands full just being ashamed of him.
- Fred Flintstone: You got your hands full when you scratch your neck!
- Hoagie: Waka-waka-woo!
- Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Joe Rockhead: Waka-waka-woo!
- Hoagie: Wooga-wooga-wee!
- Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Joe Rockhead: Wooga-wooga wee! Piki-piki-piki, Poki-poki-poki!
- [They howling and guests brought the giant cup of lava juice]
- Hoagie: Lava juice!
- [after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job]
- Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick, what's my name?
- Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!
- Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barn.
- Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
- Fred Flintstone: No, simply Your Highness will do.
- Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?
- Fred Flintstone: ...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.
- Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii -
- [falls backwards out of his chair]
- Dictabird: Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?
- Wilma Flintstone: This has gone far enough! After everything that we've done for you! We took you into our home!
- Betty Rubble: Oh, yeah, so you could show off every chance you got. You used to be such nice people but now... you're just a couple of rich snobs! Hmph!
- Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred.
- [waves Fred over and whispers in his ear]
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, and two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.
- Cliff Vandercave: Do you know what we do up here?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, me and the guys have always wondered.
- Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.
- Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?
- Grizzled Man: Wait, do you know this guy?
- Barney Rubble: Know him? He used to be my best friend. Heck, if it weren't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.
- Grizzled Man: Thanks for telling us. We could've made a very big mistake. Hang both of them!
- Cliff Vandercave: [happily] OK, Fred.
- [clasps his hands together]
- Cliff Vandercave: Are you ready for your first executive action?
- Fred Flintstone: Ready and willing! Whatever you need, consider it done!
- Cliff Vandercave: Good.
- [seriously]
- Cliff Vandercave: I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
- Fred Flintstone: [punches his open palm] Done!
- [realises]
- Fred Flintstone: What? Fire Barney? Why?
- Cliff Vandercave: Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile! The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
- Fred Flintstone: But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
- Cliff Vandercave: Fred.
- [puts his arm around Fred]
- Cliff Vandercave: If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire *you.*
- [Fred looks nervous as Cliff pats him on the shoulder]
- Fred Flintstone: Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.
- Barney Rubble: It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah sure, but...
- Barney Rubble: [realizes what he said] Hey!
- Store Manager: Mrs. Rubble, there seems to be a slight problem with your credit card.
- Betty Rubble: Really? What's that?
- Store Manager: It's no damn good!
- [Breaks the card with a hammer]
- Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. Had car trouble, I picked up a nail.
- [Shows everyone a bandaid on his dirty foot]
- Mr. Slate: Thank you for sharing that with us, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?
- Fred Flintstone: [Holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build] I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in them?
- Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money, and every time we get a little bit ahead, you have to go blow it on some hair-brained scheme!
- Fred Flintstone: Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And...
- Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen.
- Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.
- Fred Flintstone: This is my office? This is my chair?
- Cliff Vandercave: Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
- Fred Flintstone: My desk?
- Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
- Sharon Stone: Because you lied on your résumé?
- Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
- Sharon Stone: I'm glad we see eye to eye.
- Cliff Vandercave: And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
- Barney Rubble: [On Fred's first day of being a VP] Well, guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
- Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
- Cliff Vandercave: Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage where our steam-powered conveyor belts carry...
- Executive in Boardroom: Steam? He's a mad man!
- Cliff Vandercave: *Steam*-powered conveyor belts, carry the product...
- [after the bowling team drinks from the giant beer mug and howls]
- Hoagie: [grinning] It doesn't get any better than this!
- Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother: I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
- Fred Flintstone: What can I do? I gotta think of something...
- [a thought appears showing Pearl Slaghoople struggling in the mouth of a Brontosaurus, Fred giggles]
- Fred Flintstone: Not now.
- [the thought disappears and then another thought appears, showing what he did with that model of the machine and then he snaps his fingers]
- [Cliff is on the ground, scrambling to pick up the money Sharon Stone hit him with. Fred walks up and steps on his hand]
- Fred Flintstone: Cliff? It's time for you and me to "interface"!
- [punches his own hand threateningly]
- Fred Flintstone: [the Rubbles have walked out on the Flintstones] They were holding us back, Wilma! We'll make new friends, there are 4,000 people in this world. Who needs the Rubbles?
- Wilma Flintstone: I do... But I'll tell you what I don't need. I don't need... this necklace.
- [rips off her necklace]
- Wilma Flintstone: You know I don't need this lamp.
- [knocks over a lamp which is based on the one from A Christmas Story]
- Wilma Flintstone: And I don't need this television set.
- Fred Flintstone: [frantically] Not the TV!
- Wilma Flintstone: [Wilma pushes the TV breaking it] I don't need this... I don't need this... Oh, I don't think I'll be needing any of this bone of china.
- [throws them at Fred]
- Wilma Flintstone: Because I don't have any friends to invite to dinner! So I don't think I'll need these cups and saucers.
- [throws away the dishes smashing them]
- Fred Flintstone: [missing the point] You'll regret this, Wilma. It's going to take you hours to clean up this mess.