Nobody's Fool (1994)

Paul Newman: Sully

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Quotes 

• Carl Roebuck : Sixty years old and still getting crushes on other men's wives. I would hope by the time I'm your age, I'm a little smarter than that.

  Sully : Can't hurt to hope. You sure are off to a slow start.

• Peter : Mom's greatest fear is that your life was fun.

  Sully : Tell her not to worry.

• Miss Beryl : Doesn't it bother you that you haven't done more with the life God gave you?

  Sully : Not often. Now and then.

• [as Sully buys raw hamburger] 

  Peter : You want some buns?

  Sully : Dogs don't eat buns.

  Peter : You're buying ground beef for your dog?

  Sully : I don't own a dog.

• Sully : I can't believe it's gonna take you that long to get me out of jail.

  Wirf : Don't blame me, I'm a Jew. They're not my holidays.

  Sully : A Jew? Really? I didn't know that. How come you ain't smart?

  Wirf : How can I start getting you out of jail when you won't go in?

• Officer Raymer : It's $15 dollars. You can mail it in, or you can come by the station. If it's not paid within 30 days, you'll be held in contempt.

  Sully : Boy, I hope you get laid sometime soon.

• Toby : Did you come to steal our new snowblower?

  Sully : I've already done it, just about.

  Toby : I could legally shoot you, you know.

  Sully : Not unless I'm breaking and entering

  Toby : ARE you gonna break and enter?

  Sully : What's happening with Dummy?

  Toby : I don't know. He took my threat to shoot him a lot more seriously than you just did.

• Sully : Boy, a guy goes to jail for a couple of days and the whole town goes to hell!

• Rub Squeers : Can I borrow a dollar?

  Sully : Nope. You can borrow a jelly doughnut, though.

  Rub Squeers : You can't borrow a jelly doughnut. Once you eat it, it's gone.

  Sully : Once you borrow a dollar, it's gone. I'd rather buy you a jelly doughnut.

• Peter : It's not gonna be easy being you, is it?

  Sully : Don't expect much from yourself in the beginning. I couldn't do everything at first, either.

• Sully : A condemned man has a right to a last request doesn't he? I got my truck out back whaddya say we get in the back get naked and see where it goes from there?

  Birdy : Ok

  Sully : Haven't you got any pride?

  Birdy : Go to jail, Sully, it's where you belong.

• Peter : Oh, God. I don't believe this. I'm a member of Greenpeace and I just helped poison a dog.

  Sully : Well for one thing, it ain't poison. For another, you didn't help much.

• Peter : So if you're not a father to me, how come you're a grandfather to Will?

  Sully : 'cause you gotta start someplace.

• Wirf : You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?

  Sully : You don't need a leg, you need a parrot.

• Peter : Tell me again this is your own snow blower we're stealing.

  Sully : I knew your mother was gonna raise you like this.

• Sully : I suppose you're gonna be saying the same thing about me when I'm gone.

  Peter : You *were* gone dad. I already said it...

• Miss Beryl : Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?

  Sully : What, the trifecta?

  Miss Beryl : Yes. Has it ever come in?

  Sully : Not yet.

  Miss Beryl : But you still bet on it.

  Sully : Well, sure. I mean, the odds have gotta kick in sooner or later.

  Miss Beryl : Fine. That's exactly the way I feel about you.

• Charlotte : How can you live in a town this size and not see your ex-wife all the time?

  Sully : That's easy, dolly. Peter's mom and I don't exactly travel in the same circles. As a matter of fact, Vera pretty much travels in a straight line.

  Peter : SOMEBODY in this family had to.

• Sully : What's the matter with you?

  Wirf : I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.

  Carl Roebuck : Forget about it. The only way to communicate with Sully's to whack him in the head with a shovel.

• Sully : Hang in there.

  Toby : 'Hang in there'? Is that the sum of your wisdom on the subject?

  Sully : That's the sum of my wisdom on most subjects.

• Peter : It's not going to be easy being you, is it?

  Sully : Don't expect too much of yourself at the beginning. I couldn't do everything at first either.

• Peter : [as Peter is walking Sully to the police station to turn himself in, Sully has asked Peter to take care of a number of things for him while he's in jail]  It's not going to be easy being you, is it?

  Sully : Don't expect much of yourself at the beginning. I couldn't do everything at first either.

• Sully : [about Toby]  Don't tell me she's pregnant.

  Carl Roebuck : Knocked up like a cheerleader. Eh, I suppose now you're going to want to be godfather.

  Sully : Hey... . I can't be the father and the godfather. You got to goddamn do something.

• Toby : Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.

  Sully : Well, thanks.

  Toby : That wasn't a compliment!

• Sully : I should have known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.

  Wirf : You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

• Sully : Go home, you jerk. You're married to the best-looking woman in Bath.

  Carl Roebuck : Who was it that said, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp?"

• Clive Peoples Jr. : We've been through this before. A landlord has -

  Sully : You are not my landlord!

  Clive Peoples Jr. : My mother is -

  Sully : The only reason I don't kick your ass. If you don't get out of here right now, I may change my mind.

• Carl Roebuck : You think I got where I got by doing shoddy work?

  Sully : No, you didn't get where you are by doing shoddy work. You didn't get where you are by doing *any* work.

• Sully : Which one of your fancy doctors advised you to drink, smoke, and screw your brains out

  Carl Roebuck : Those are unreasonable requests Sully. They wouldn't of made 'em if they didn't know me.

  Sully : If they'd known ya, they wouldn't have fixed ya.

• [Wirf and Sully bet on the People's Court] 

  Sully : Okay, Shyster, who do you like?

  Wirf : The plaintiff. It's a lock.

  Sully : I'll take the defendant.

  Birdy : You weren't even here for the stories.

  Sully : Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

• Wirf : Sooner or later we'll wear the bastards down. The court is already starting to get pissed. You heard the judge.

  Sully : He's pissed at you, Wirf!

  Wirf : Only because he knows I won't go away.

  Sully : I know how he feels.

• Sully : [quoting]  Beware the chains we forge in life.

  Miss Beryl : I don't suppose you remember who said that?

  Sully : *You* did Miss Beryl, all through 8th grade.

• Sully : Poor guy just had a bypass. Maybe he's trying to cram everything he can do into six months. When he realizes he's going to live until he's seventy, he'll slow down.

  Toby : If I had my way, he wouldn't live to Thanksgiving.

• Sully : You ain't naked or anything, are ya?

  Toby : No, but I can be in about 2 seconds.

  Sully : Well, take your time. I need a cup of coffee.

  [on phone] 

  Sully : Ace Towing? Sullivan. I'm just around the corner. 313 Harvin. Pick me up. Charge it. Tip Top Construction Company. Thanks.

  [hangs up phone] 

  Sully : Horace?... .

  Horace Yaney : Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.

  Sully : Thank God for that!

• Sully : You stupid prick!

  [slugs Officer Raymer in the face] 

• Wacker Sullivan : Who are you?

  Peter : He's your grandfather.

  Wacker Sullivan : Does he always look like that?

  Sully : Yeah, most of the time.

• Sully : You know when Ruby was here she used to wear this little see-through blouse, so if you want to keep up the tradition...

  [Toby briefly flashes her breasts at Sully] 

  Sully : Uh...

  [after an awkward pause] 

  Sully : OK then.

  Will : [From the other room]  Grandpa! Are you OK?

  Toby : Yeah, grandpa. Are you OK?