The Pagemaster (1994)
Macaulay Culkin: Richard Tyler
Photos
Quotes
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Richard Tyler : Hey! How'd you get here?
Fantasy : Quit it! We are in the presence of the Pagemaster.
Richard Tyler : I *know* who he is. He's the guy who did all THIS to me! Do you have any idea what I've been through?
The Pagemaster : Tell me.
Richard Tyler : I was nearly torn to shreds by a crazy doctor, I was made a slave to a bunch of mangy pirates, and eaten. Got that? Eaten by a fire-breathing dragon!
Horror : He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it.
Richard Tyler : Not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death!
The Pagemaster : Yet you stand before me.
Richard Tyler : Well, yeah.
The Pagemaster : Think, boy. What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page?
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Mr. Dewey : Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me. You're here for a special book.
Richard Tyler : Mister...
Mr. Dewey : Stop stop stop. Allow me to guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of a fantasy! Brave knights, mythical fairies, ferocious dragons!
Richard Tyler : Look, all I want is...
Mr. Dewey : Adventure! Of course! You're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates.
Richard Tyler : No, no, that's not it.
Mr. Dewey : Horror! Oh, horror! Evil demons, wicked monsters, haunted houses, graveyards. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. Your library card, please.
Richard Tyler : I don't have one.
Mr. Dewey : [pulls out a brand new one] You do now. Sign here.
[Richard signs the card]
Mr. Dewey : Richard Tyler, consider this your passport to the wonderful and quite unpredictable world of books.
Richard Tyler : But I don't want any books.
Mr. Dewey : Hmm?
Richard Tyler : That's what I've been trying to tell you. I only came in here 'cause of the storm.
Mr. Dewey : You mean you don't need...?
[Richard shakes his head]
Mr. Dewey : [disappointed] Oh, I see.
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Tom Morgan : Give the word, Captain Silver, and I'll show you the color of his insides.
Richard Tyler : Red, red, they're red!
Long John Silver : Stow your cutlass, Tom, I want a better look at his outsides first.
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Fantasy : What is this?
Richard Tyler : It's a library card.
Fantasy : I'm a book, honey, I can read.
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Fantasy : You know this short story?
Richard Tyler : He's Adventure.
Fantasy : Honey, that's what they all say.
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Richard Tyler : Fantasy!
Fantasy : Naturally. Who were you expecting, honey? The Tooth Fairy?
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Richard Tyler : [to Adventure] You guys are the only friends I ever had.
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[repeated line]
Richard Tyler : This is not good, definitely not good.
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Dr. Jekyll : My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you that you are in extreme danger.
Richard Tyler : Danger?
Dr. Jekyll : Even as we speak.
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Richard Tyler : Do I click my heels or something?
Fantasy : You're in the wrong story, honey.
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Richard Tyler : [after being wash by the rotunda art, and becomes animated for the fist time] I... I'm a cartoon.
The Pagemaster : you are an illustration.
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Horror : [meeting Richard and the gang for the first time, after falling off the top of Dr. Jekyll's house] I scared you, I'm sorry.
Fantasy : You mustn't judge a book by it cover.
[to Richard]
Fantasy : Look, he's smiling.
[Horror shows a homely, toothless, ghoulish grin]
Richard Tyler : That's a smile?
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Richard Tyler : Can't argue with statistics, Dad.
Alan Tyler : Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these.
Richard Tyler : But, Dad...
Alan Tyler : Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy.
[with a five-dollar-bill]
Alan Tyler : You can do this.
[Alan gives money to Richard. His mother Claire releases him and joins his father in unison]
Richard Tyler : [leaving his parents behind] This is not good. Definitely not good.
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Richard Tyler : [reads title] Alice in Wonderland.
[Richard opens the book]
Queen of Hearts : [shouts] Off with his head!
Richard Tyler : [shockly closes the book] Sheesh!
