The Paper (1994)

Victor Truro: Bernie's Doctor

Quotes 

• Bernie's Doctor : Now don't overreact. If we go after it early, before it metastasizes to a bone, the majority of these prostate cancer cases are beatable.

  Bernie : Go after it how?

  Bernie's Doctor : Irridation therapy.

  Bernie : That's fantastic. That's wonderful, because... as it turns out, that's exactly the portion of my anatomy I'd like to see exposed to radiation.

  Bernie's Doctor : You'll have to take an hour or two off work for each treatment. We should start right away. How's next monday?

  Bernie : To burn a hole in my ass? Sounds good. Then I still have the weekend.

  [pause] 

  Bernie : Could you possibly be any more humourless about this?

  Bernie's Doctor : I don't believe so. No.