Mallrats (1995)

Shannen Doherty: Rene

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brodie : I took you shopping all the time!

  [Banging his hands against the elevator wall] 

  Rene : You took me where you went shopping, you jerk! You think I care what store in that shitpit dirt mall has the latest Godzilla bootlegs? Do you call eating pizza in the same dive pizzeria every night eating out? Do I give a shit when two major comic book labels are crossing over characters, selling two editions of the same book in varied-ink chromium covers? I'm a girl, damn it! I wanna do girly things! Like fix up someone's hair and get phone calls expressing romantic sentiments!

• Rene : That was too little too late.

  Brodie : Too little? You said it was a good size!

  Rene : The effort, you retard. The effort was too little too late.

  [pause] 

  Rene : But, now that you mention it, when a girl says its a good size, that's a nice way of saying that it's small.

  Brodie : Hey!

• Willam Black : Brenda?

  Rene : [hitting him]  DICK!

• [Brodie picks up a controller and continues a paused video game] 

  Rene : What are you doing? You promised me breakfast.

  Brodie : Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

• Brodie : You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment...

  Rene : Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there.

  Brodie : Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights.

  Rene : For what?

  Brodie : For the mall. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale...

  Rene : [interrupting]  Brodie, Brodie...

  Brodie : ...or a boat show...

  Rene : [interrupting]  Brodie! I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide.

  Rene : [Grabs Brodie by the ear]  But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your shit with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment!

• Brodie : Jesus Christ! What the hell gives with the cover boy?

  Rene : None of your business, but he'll kick your ass if he knows what you just pulled.

  Brodie : Are you insane? The guy looks like a date rapist! Is that my jacket?

  Rene : Start the elevator.

  Brodie : Not until you tell me what the situation is with you and the Sperminator out there! How long has this been going on?

  Rene : Since I mustered the good sense to send you packing. He's a much more suitable companion than you any day.

  Brodie : Are you nuts? The guy's pure testosterone! He's a walking hard-on just looking for a hole!

• Brodie : I call you all time!

  Rene : "Rene, my mom's asleep. Come over." You call that romantic? When was the last time you pulled out my chair, or told me I was beautiful?

  Brodie : And this guy does all this in a day?

  Rene : This guy already introduced me to his mother.

  Brodie : Really?

• Brodie : [referring to the sex tape of Shannon with 15-year old Trish]  Did you see that shit? You call that romance?

  Rene : I call that illegal.

• Rene : [about why she cries in the bathroom]  Do you really wanna know?

  Brodie : I asked, didn't I? I'm playing the role; the concerned guy.

• Rene : I think about people that make decisions that affect our lives. The doctors who make advancements in curing diseases. The engineer that designs skyscrapers. The guy that maps out a plane's flight path.

  Brodie : The navigator.

  Rene : I think about how those people are out there everyday, Making a difference, leading big lives, And how they refuse to be intimidated by the tremendous odds of failure they face; And how they only concern themselves with peers and company that apply to their goals and noble causes.

  Brodie : Jesus, I'd hate to tell you what I think about in the bathroom.

  Rene : I think about all that, and I cry. Because I have nothing better to do than fuck you.

• Rene : Didn't I dump your ass this morning?

  Brodie : Look, I know you've had some time to think about the mistake you've made, And I just wanna let you know you don't have to apologize. I'm sure you were just PMSing or something.

  Rene : Brodie, what kills me about you is your inability to function on the same plane of existence as the rest of us. Piss off.

• Brodie : You want I should tell my mother what we do in here at night?

  Rene : What? That you play video games and I fall asleep unfulfilled? Go ahead.

• Rene : I've never met a person who lives in as much fear of his mother as you do.

• Rene : He was up and at work by 9:00 this morning, unlike my ex-boyfriend who would sleep until one; because, all he did was play Sega and watch videos all night long - which, by the way, has an enormous effect on your libido.

  Brodie : Oh, now you attack my libido?

  Rene : There's no libido to attack.

  Brodie : "No libido to attack?"

  [Brodie attacks] 

• Rene : What can I say? I love the retard.