Spin City (1996–2002)

Michael J. Fox: Mike Flaherty

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Mike : My grandmother thought that a homosexual was a person who slept with one person their whole life. We were gonna let it slide but she kept telling the mailman she was a homosexual.

• Paul : I can't seem to get Claudia pregnant. Every night she's on my back riding me.

  Mike : I think I've zeroed in on your problem.

• Caitlin : Mike, believe it or not, the whole universe does not revolve around you.

  Mike : Are you calling my mom a liar?

• Mike : There are 10 commandments. I'd like your dates to check out on at least 7 of them.

• Mayor Winston : Mike, look out that window. We preside over the greatest city in the world.

  Mike : Sir, that's New Jersey.

• Caitlin : I'm gonna run this campaign, I'm gonna win it and you can't stop me.

  Mike : Let's not get so dramatic, okay? This is not some cheesy soap opera.

• [James has been told to look after the Mayor's daughter] 

  Stuart : Hey Mike. I'm free. Why don't you let me look after the Mayor's daughter?

  Mike : The same reason they don't give guns to monkeys.

• Mike : Look at Dick Clark. Not a grey hair on his head and he's as popular now as he was 100 years ago.

• Mike : Anybody read this? Bingo died.

  Karen : Ohh! Who's Bingo?

  Mike : Only the city's most decorated police dog.

  Nikki : Oh, yeah, right. He pulled that drowning kid out of the reservoir.

  James : And didn't he sniff out 10 kilos of cocaine at La Guardia?

  Mike : Yeah. Poor little guy didn't sleep for weeks after that.

• [the staff is concerned that the mayor may cheat on his wife] 

  Mike : All right, everybody huddle up, close your eyes, I want to paint you a mental picture; the mayor is very vulnerable tonight, there are a lot of reporters here tonight, and also in attendance is a woman I will refer to simply as "The Shark", whereas the Mayor is like an older, slow-moving sea lion.

  Stuart : [French accent]  I will stay aboard the Calypso, while my assistant, Mike, dive into the ocean to join in the life and death struggle between the shark and the noble sea lion.

• Mike : My friend Sebastian saw you at a dance club Friday night.

  Stacey : How'd he know it was me

  Mike : You had your tongue in his mouth

• Mike : I know the German word for constipation, which I believe is farfrompoopin.

• Mike : Why don't you like me anymore?

  Nikki : I don't want to talk to you about this. You're just going to confuse me. You're too charming, you're too smart, you're too clever.

  Mike : I can change.

• [Stuart is making fun of Carter's boyfriend, who is a boxer] 

  Mike : That's right, Stuart. Taunt the professional ass kicker.

• [locked in Paul's trunk] 

  Caitlin : I know you would enjoy this.

  Mike : What are you taking about? I am not enjoying this!

  Caitlin : Yes you are. I can feel "it."

  Mike : That's a tire iron.

  Caitlin : I don't care what sick name you call it! Get it off me!

  [Pulls out a tire iron] 

  Mike : See.

  Caitlin : Ok. Then what is "that!

  Mike : Ok. I am a little excited.

• [Caitlin kissed Mike when there was turbulence] 

  Mike : I get it. So whenever you're scared, you make out with guy nearest to you. Someday, you're going to make some mugger really happy.

• Mike : Hey, that is it. I'm officially taking down the suggestion box. "Wisconsin Rules!" is not a suggestion.

  James : I know, I just wanted to hear someone else say it. Wisconsin Rules!

• [On erections] 

  Nikki : Can't you guys control those things?

  Stuart : Not always.

  Mike : You can scold it, or smack it around a little bit. That only seems to encourage it.

  Nikki : I am fascinated.

  James : Sometimes all it takes is a thought, memory... sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze.

• Mike : Now, I don't want to hear any excuses.

  Stuart : You sure? 'Cause I've been saving the doozy. It starts out as an excuse but I end up blaming James.

• Mayor Winston : Are you sure this is the best title for my autobiography? "Winston On Winston"?

  Mike : Hey, as long there aren't two guys on the cover, I think we're okay.

• Mike : Stuart, what makes someone a hero?

  Stuart : I'd have to go with x-ray vision.

• Mike : I know you think you have all the answers, but believe me, you need what I have up here.

  Caitlin : What, half a bottle of mousse?

• Mike : This is like a step back in time!

  Owen Kingston : Though men like us look to the future.

• [Mike is on TV] 

  Mike : I can't believe that's me.

  Mayor Winston : Oh, I know ALL about that. You're here talking, but you're there talking... tricky.

• Mayor Winston : Did you know that when I was in college, I made a student film?

  Mike : Really?

  Mayor Winston : The Yale Daily News called it "an incoherent mess".

• Mike : Nothing gets done without me knowing.

  Caitlin : I fired James.

  Mike : Touché

• [why Mike's not interested in kissing her after she is 2 hours late home] 

  Mike : By 9.30, well, something had built up. Let's call it... tension. And you know me... I'm a problem solver!

  Nikki : Oh... Mike!

• [Mike suspects he's cursed] 

  Mike : Your grandmother does have special powers, does she?

  Stacey : No.

  Mike : She can't place a hex or a curse on somebody, can she?

  Stacey : She can place a curse, but she can't fly.

• Mike : Can you believe this guy?

  Carter : No. He has absolutely crossed the line. Who are we talking about?

• Mike : I had sex with this woman, Kevin. And she wants to get pregnant. She kidnapped my "guys"! And she put them in the freezer!

  Kevin : That old story.

• [after Carter's dog electrocuted himself by licking a lamp socket] 

  Mike : That had to hurt.

• Mike : As my assistant, occasionally you may need to assist me.

• James : Can men do this?

  Mike : Men, yes. You, no.

• Mike : Stealing someone's fiancée. Priceless.

• Mike : God is for weekends, sir. He's like Michelob.