- Cabbie: Everybody fasten your seat belts, I want to try something. I saw it in a cartoon once but I think I can make it work.
- Michael Makeshift: Who's Moe Jackley?
- Valeri Carboni: Moe impersonates Tony Roy, the Elvis impersonator.
- Michael Makeshift: I really don't understand. He impersonates an Elvis impersonator? Why doesn't he just impersonate Elvis?
- Valeri Carboni: Because everyone in Vegas impersonates Elvis.
- Michael Makeshift: I saw two of my ex-girlfriends on "Oprah." One had become a man. The other was dating him.
- Dwayne: I can remember 6 or 7 years ago, nobody ate turkey. Now, everybody eats turkey! Turkey burgers. Right? Turkey sausage. Hey, I used to eat ham and cheese, man. Not anymore. Now it's turkey this, turkey that. Sometimes, I wonder what animal's gonna be next, you know? Duck. I bet you it's duck.