Doctor Dolittle (1998)

John Leguizamo: Rat #2

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. John Dolittle : You know how to do CPR?

  Rat #2 : CPR? I can't even spell it!

• [after performing CPR on a rat, the rat farts] 

  Dr. John Dolittle : He just had gas

  Rat #2 : Whoa! you're telling me!

• Tiger : [atop an observatory]  ... And now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short...

  [John's Range-Rover pulls up at the main entrance, far below. With John are Lucky and both of the Rats] 

  Tiger : ... Hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!

  Rat #2 : [from the Range-Rover]  See if you land on your feet, Road-Kill.

  Lucky : [following John up to confront the tiger]  ... Coming right up - one order of man, side of dog.

  Tiger : Good-bye, cruel world. Oh no, I just remembered. I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. One of the few animals which enjoy that kind of thing.

  Dr. John Dolittle : [attempts to talk the tiger out of jumping from the observatory]  Hey, whoa. Take it easy now... Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger," from ROCKY 3? When Rocky was fighting Mr. T, couldn't beat him - then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. Rocky beat the snot out of Mr. T because of "Eye of the Tiger." Because that song moved Rocky inside...

  [He sings the song, way out of tune, to demonstrate] 

  Dr. John Dolittle : ... Not Eye of the Moose, not Eye of the Bull, Eye of the TIGER.

  Tiger : That's it. I'm jumping.

  Dr. John Dolittle : Listen, I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. If I can't, then you can eat me AND Lucky.

  Lucky : Or just him.

  Tiger : All right. I just hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer.

  Lucky : Good job, Doc. Although, seeing a tiger jump 5 stories would have been really cool.

  Tiger : I heard that.

• Rat #1 : [John has just arrived at the home of his old friend, Sam Litvack, for a CAT scan]  ... What's your problem?

  Rat #2 : Your face.

  Rat #1 : I'll hit you so hard, you'll see 10 more of me.

  Rat #2 : It already SMELLS like 10 more of you. So just bring it on, cheese-eater... Hey, you gerbil!

  Rat #1 : [They both notice John staring at them for the first time]  ... What are YOU looking at?

  Dr. John Dolittle : I'm just looking at a couple of greasy rats fighting over some garbage.

  Rat #2 : Come HERE and say that, you 4-eyed bubble-headed doofus biped! I'll get bubonic on your ass!

  Dr. John Dolittle : What if I take that light bulb there, and put it between your little rat butt cheeks, and make a little rodent lamp out of you?

  [notices that Sam Litvack has joined him] 

  Dr. John Dolittle : ... I'm sorry, Sam; how are you?

• [last lines] 

  Lucky : I want my own room, with a TV. Basic cable will be fine.

  Rat #1 : I hate stories with happy endings.

  Owl : Yoo-hoo.

  Rat #1 : What did you say?

  Rat #2 : I didn't say nothing.

  Rat #1 : Then who?

  Owl : [squawks and takes flight] 

  Rat #1 : Ahhh! Run! Run for your lives! Oh my God! Let's go, buddy.

  Rat #2 : I don't want to die. I'm too young to die! Hang a left! No, hang a right! Look out for the traffic! Oh, legs, do your thing. Get out of my way!

  Rat #1 : This circle of life really stinks!

• Rat #2 : [regarding Rat #1]  You got to help him.

  Dr. John Dolittle : Oh, really? Why is that?

  Rat #2 : 'Cause you're the man. You're the man.

  Dr. John Dolittle : Oh, I'm the man now. I thought I was the guy the other day that you wanted to get bubonic with.