The House of Yes (1997)

Josh Hamilton: Marty

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marty : Are you being wise?

  Jackie-O : One day I woke up wise.

  Marty : One day I woke up stupid.

  Jackie-O : What'd you do?

  Marty : I went back to bed.

  Jackie-O : That was wise.

• Anthony : Would you like a glass of Liebfraumilch?

  Lesly : No thank you. I'll just have a glass of wine.

  Marty : That's the name of the wine.

  Lesly : Oh!

  [laughs] 

  Lesly : I don't speak french.

  Jackie-O : Who does?

  Anthony : You do.

  Jackie-O : Oh, that's right, I do.

  [smiles] 

  Lesly : So what does that name mean?

  Jackie-O : In french?

  Lesly : [nods] 

  Jackie-O : I think it means something German.

  Marty : It means, "loving mother's milk."

  Lesly : You speak french?

  Marty : No. German.

• Mrs. Pascal : Oh my God, I sounded just like a mother! Didn't I sound just like a mother?

  Marty : You are a mother.

  Mrs. Pascal : I know, but I still can't believe it. I look at you people and wonder, how did you ever fit in my womb?

• Jackie-O : What about what *we* have?

  Marty : *Had*

  Jackie-O : I don't recognize the past tense.

• Jackie-O : Sorry about that, by the way, I didn't mean to maim you. I only meant to kill you.

  Marty : These things happen.

• Mrs. Pascal : What's that gun doing there?

  Jackie-O : It's not a gun. It's a camera.

  Mrs. Pascal : It's a gun.

  Jackie-O : It's a camera that looks like a gun.

  Marty : Relax, Mama, it isn't loaded.

  Mrs. Pascal : How do you know?

  Marty : I checked.

  Mrs. Pascal : What's it doing there?

  Jackie-O : Being gunlike, gunesque, gunonic.

  Mrs. Pascal : Where did it come from?

  Jackie-O : God?

• Jackie-O : I see Anthony wears a lot of layers around me, don't 'cha Anthony? He's got a tee shirt, a dress shirt, a vest, and a jacket.

  Anthony : I'm wearing a jacket because it's Thanksgiving

  Jackie-O : You weren't wearing it before.

  Anthony : I put it on after Marty got here.

  Marty : I appreciate it. It looks nice.

  Anthony : I think it belonged to a Kennedy.

  Marty : Why? Is there a bullet hole?

• Anthony : [to Jackie]  I hear you crying at night alone in your room.

  Anthony : [to Marty]  I hear her crying at night alone in her room.

  Marty : [to Jackie]  You cry at night alone in your room?

  Anthony : Hey, don't make fun of her! I won't let you make fun of her.

  Marty : I wasn't going to make fun of her. I was going to ask her what she cries about.

  Jackie-O : [turns away]  What do you think? You want somebody for a very long time. And then you have them. And they love you. And they make love to you. But it's not enough. This is the truth about sex.

  Anthony : Is that why Peter was lousy in bed?

  Jackie-O : I'm not talking about Peter, Anthony.

  Jackie-O : [turns towards them, crying]  Jesus, I'm talking about Marty.

• Marty : Are you being wise? I think you're being wise.

  Jackie-O : I knew it would happen; one day I'd just wake up wise.

  Marty : One day I woke up stupid.

  Jackie-O : You did?

  Marty : It was terrible.

  Jackie-O : What did you do?

  Marty : I went back to sleep.

  Jackie-O : That was wise.

• Marty : Leslie, this is Jackie-O.

  Lesly : Hi!

  Marty : My Mother. Anthony. Meet Leslie. Leslie and I are engaged!

  Jackie-O : [screams hysterically, then laughs hysterically] 

  Jackie-O : [still laughing]  I have to find my hairbrush.

  Lesly : Oh, I have a comb.

  Jackie-O : [squints angrily, then runs away] 

• Jackie-O : Guess where I am? I'm in a box and I can't get out.

  Marty : No. I'm in a box and I can't get out.

  Jackie-O : Well, I'm sorry that wasn't a very good mime, Marty, I didn't see that at all.