Mr. Magoo (1997)

Matt Keeslar: Waldo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Waldo : [after Magoo eats a plastic bunch of grapes]  Unc!

  Mr. Magoo : Why is it that someone always seems to burn the rumaki?

  Waldo : Maybe you should see another eye doctor.

  Mr. Magoo : Waldo, Hiram has been my optometrist since I was a small boy in knee pants.

  Waldo : He's like 2,000 years old! All his other patients are dead.

  Mr. Magoo : Well, you can't blame that against him!

  Waldo : But he's still making appointments with them. Trust me, you need a second opinion.

• [Waldo has installed a magnifying glass windshield on Magoo's car] 

  Waldo : Well, if you can't bring Mohammed to the mountain...

• [after nearly missing Luanne, Magoo and Waldo find her plane ticket receipt] 

  Waldo : This receipt is for Brazil. Why would she go to Brazil?

  Mr. Magoo : She's going to Peru.

  Waldo : She'd go to Brazil to go to Peru?

  Mr. Magoo : Exactly.

  Waldo : But why?

  Mr. Magoo : To get more for the ruby!

  Waldo : Peru?

  Mr. Magoo : Exactly.

  Waldo : But then why go to Brazil?

  Mr. Magoo : Peru is in Brazil.

  Waldo : Peru is in Brazil?

  Mr. Magoo : Ortega Peru is in Brazil.

  Waldo : Ortega Peru! Of course.

  Mr. Magoo : And that's why we're going to Brazil.

• [Luanne is holding Magoo at gunpoint for the Star of Kuristan] 

  Waldo : Unc, watch out! She's got a gun.

  Mr. Magoo : Of course she has, Waldo! She's a federal agent.

  Waldo : She's not what you think!

  Mr. Magoo : Now, Waldo, you're talking about the woman who saved my life.

  Luanne : Yeah, well, nobody's perfect.

  Mr. Magoo : Oh, you can't tell me that yesterday meant nothing to you.

  [singing] 

  Mr. Magoo : I am a Viking! A lusty, trusty Viking!

  Luanne : Yesterday sucked. And you kissed a carp.

  Mr. Magoo : [shocked]  Prunella.

  Luanne : Give me the jewel!

  Mr. Magoo : [holding out the Star of Kuristan]  This is all you ever wanted?

  Luanne : [as she gazes lustfully at the ruby, Magoo hands it over to her]  You're a true gentleman, and there aren't many of those left. Too bad you had to go and get in my way.