Vegas Vacation (1997)

Randy Quaid: Cousin Eddie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hoover Dam Guide : Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take you through a fully funtional power plant, so please, no one wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?

  Cousin Eddie : Yeah, where can I get some damn bait?

• Clark Griswold : Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck?

  Cousin Eddie : Those were my mother's dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' crazy.

• Clark Griswold : Eddie, I gambled away more money than you'll ever understand.

  Cousin Eddie : Try me.

  Clark Griswold : [whispering]  Twenty-two thousand eight hundred dollars.

  Cousin Eddie : [shouting]  Oh God! Oh God! Oh my shhhhooddd! Oh God! Oh my God!

• Cousin Eddie : That's it Clark... show him who's boss. It's people like you who come here and blow the family nest egg that built this town... not this pretty boy!

• Cousin Eddie : I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.

  Clark Griswold : Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.

• Cousin Eddie : Oh yeah, Yuban Coffee. You know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything? Ice cream, mashed potatoes, or just eat it right out of the can for a quick pick me up.

• Cousin Eddie : Come on, Clark, the night is young... they're giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank.

• Cousin Eddie : Every time I belch, the plate shifts and my legs give out. But man, what a view.

• Cousin Eddie : OH MY GOD... it's Wayne Newton! Can I be your bodyguard? I'd die for ya.

  [stares at Wayne and pats his head] 

• Clark Griswold : [inside the sleezy casino]  I need to go somewhere a man can think.

  Cousin Eddie : Oh, oh I wouldn't do that here Clark, the stalls are awefully dirty and they're backed up all the time.

  Clark Griswold : No, Eddie, I need to be alone.

  Cousin Eddie : Oh, oh I see, ya want me to go with ya?

  Clark Griswold : Allright,come on.

• Cousin Eddie : It is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here like mother nature intended.