Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls (1978) User Reviews

Old style fun porn

[augustian · 6/10 · 4 November 2016]

Legendary John Holmes is on form in this comedy porn film from the days when porn had a plot to go with the hot sex scenes. John plays the owner of a pizzeria which is really a front for a brothel. The four skateboarding pizza girls deliver the real treats to their paying customers. In an amusing scene, John Holmes explains to new recruit Ann Chovy (Desiree Cousteau), how the pizza topping determines the customer's treat.

The cast play it for laughs as well as sex. Desiree Cousteau is excellent, her bobbed hairstyle giving her a bubbly innocence totally at odds with her job. It is good to see Candida Royalle before she moved behind the camera. Whoever wrote the skateboarding cop scene deserves a medal; and the sex action does not disappoint either. In this film, every treat comes with cream topping.

Porn Essentials: Pizza Girls

[movieman_kev · 10/10 · 23 September 2005]

Obscenely well-endowed John Holmes plays an employer for the Country Girl Pizza Parlor who isn't shy of checking all of his respective female employees. The pizzeria DOES have a high standard you know as it happens to be the cover for a brothel as well. But a Keystone cop-like undercover agent is on to the sordid little pizza sex operation. A trio of Chicken sellers also want to shut them down and send the San Fransisco Night Chicken after them. What are sexy lil' pizza girls to do? This is just an all-around fun movie. Fairly good acting, fun good sex scenes, and a funny storyline. Of course this being another collaboration between legendary director Bob Chinn and John Holmes I didn't expect anything less than greatness. This pizza sure did hit the spot.

My Grade: A

Classic porn

[MovieAddict2016 · 13 June 2005]

I originally reviewed this about a year ago taking on the stance of someone who had been duped into watching it based on the belief that it was a comedy. Part of my review said: "I rented this expecting a comedy, but it is not." I thought my review was pretty funny if I do say so myself but apparently no one else got it since it received five unhelpful votes, out of five altogether.

Anyway, truth be told this actually is a good porn film and it's quite funny. The late John Holmes shows off his considerable talents as the "Pizza Man" (as he's billed in the credits) who shows a bunch of girls a good time.

I'm not all that into porn, but '70s porn was definitely the best, when they became pretentious like this and tried to develop plots (as seen in P.T. Anderson's brilliant satire "Boogie Nights").

I think it's pointless to say if you don't like watching naked people go at it, bad acting and hilariously inane dialogue, you won't like this.

But if you enjoy John Holmes attempting to act out scenes of dialogue, it's a hoot!

Funny, funny, funny

[MarcusCyron · 10/10 · 25 April 2002]

I never thought, an adult movie could be so good - but this movie is so good! A funny sample for the pornographic cinema of the 70's, a sample for that, what's later in the 90's is shown in movies like _Boogie Nights (1997)_ (qv) . And it's a sample for the easy Life without AIDS! I never had so much fun with a porn! 10 Points!

quality film

[mattthomp1982 · 10/10 · 21 August 2005]

this is one of the first adult films that i ever watched. i must have been about 13 years old, and thought that, even though the copy itself was of poor quality, the storyline and action was fantastic. you have to remember that the previous year i had been watching and playing he-man. it is very rare in today's clime to find a film that has a plot, let alone one whose plot is meant to be funny. this film, as opposed to todays almost plastic and fake environments, displays an almost realistic feel when it comes to the action (with the exception of Johnny Holmes, of course; that is just unreal).

this film thoroughly deserves a ten.

Cousteau on Full Display

[Michael_Elliott · 12 March 2016]

Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls (1978)

*** (out of 4)

John Holmes plays a pizza shop owner who isn't really delivering pizzas. Instead he has four beautiful women delivering their "services" to male and female customers willing to pay. This includes a sweet young woman (Desiree Cousteau) from Alabama.

HOT & SAUCY PIZZA GIRLS is one of the classic titles from the era when the porn genre was taken more serious than it is today. You know, back before the VHS boom and certainly way before the day and age of internet where anyone can record something on their cell phone and post it. This film here certainly isn't in the same league as certain masterpieces in the genre but it's got a rather fun and unique tale and certainly plenty of sex with some hot ladies.

The most familiar name is the cast is obviously Holmes who not only gets several sex scenes but also gets to "act" some. The early scenes of him telling the girls what they're delivering, creatively using various pizza toppings, is actually handled well by the actor with a little comic timing. Cousteau is best remembered for PRETTY PEACHES but she's also fun to watch here and uses that same silly nature to add the charm.

Amusing and animated 70's porn comedy blast

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 5 January 2015]

Pizza parlor owner John (the legendary John Holmes at his most natural and engaging) employs a quartet of luscious young ladies to deliver more than just his pies to his customers. John faces opposition from a trio of guys from a chicken restaurant who enlist the assistance of a notorious rapist known as the San Francisco Night Chicken to undermine John's business.

Director Bob Chinn keeps the enjoyably silly story moving along at a brisk pace, maintains a likable lighthearted tone from start to finish, nicely captures a winningly breezy'n'easy 70's California vibe, and milks plenty of laughs from the cheerfully inane humor. Desiree Cousteau, Candida Royalle, Laurien Dominique, and Christine De Shafer are all quite sexy, vibrant, and appealing as the titular gals, with the exquisitely buxom Cousteau in particular a bubbly delight throughout as sweetly ditsy country girl Ann Chovy. John Leslie has a field day as drawling Texan main villain Henry, John Seeman is a wacky riot as bumbling health inspector Blackie, and Chinn acquits himself well as John's affable "twin brother" Bob. The sex scenes deliver the sizzling goods. The sunny cinematography provides an attractive bright look. Great catchy'n'bouncy theme song, too. An absolute hoot.

John Holmes and Desiree Cousteau showing why they are still considered legends.

[johnkeyes-32930 · 8/10 · 18 December 2016]

This film is not your typical porn as far as yes,you have the standard sex scene formula but unlike today's porn where your typical movie might be on the market for 3 to 6 months.This movie is still around 40 years later because of the the actual acting ability of stars like Desiree Cousteau and John Holmes, who didn't just go through the motions they actually had talent beyond the ability to screw good, while most porn stars today have a shelf life of 2 to 4 years these guys are still selling movies today. The movie itself is so campy so funny that even the most porn weary souls can watch this movie again and again just because Holmes and Cousteau were Porn Stars, not porn actors, put it this way, without doing any spoilers, when a movie has a plot involving a giant chicken and escorts with pizza, and you actually enjoy it. I rest my case.