Mystery Men (1999)

Greg Kinnear: Captain Amazing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vic Weems : I think, right now, we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.

  Capt. Amazing : Yeah? You think so? Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic!

  Vic Weems : Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain - and thanks to you, we've got none left.

  Capt. Amazing : Then get... the Death Man!

  Vic Weems : Death Man is dead.

  Capt. Amazing : Okay... Father Doom!

  Vic Weems : Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair...

  Capt. Amazing : Really?

  Vic Weems : Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.

  Capt. Amazing : Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have - extraordinary!

  Vic Weems : "Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."

• The Shoveller : Captain, I'm just going to ask you directly. Do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?

  Capt. Amazing : [whispers]  It's me.

  [the Shoveller looks surprised, and Capt. Amazing laughs] 

  Capt. Amazing : Naw, I'm kidding with you, I've always wanted to do that.

• Capt. Amazing : I knew you couldn't change.

  Casanova Frankenstein : I knew you'd know that.

  Capt. Amazing : Oh, I know that. AND I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.

  Casanova Frankenstein : But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know THAT?

  Capt. Amazing : Of course.

• Capt. Amazing : [amused at the Mystery Men]  Really. You're... you're all superheroes.

  The Shoveller : Well, we fight crime. Call it what you will.

• Capt. Amazing : [strapped to a chair]  Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.

  Casanova Frankenstein : You know my plans, Lancie: Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you.

  Capt. Amazing : Right, that's the part that really doesn't work for me...

  Casanova Frankenstein : When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind.

• Capt. Amazing : Really? I'm not so sure about that. Your first night of freedom, and you blow up the asylum. Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.

  Casanova Frankenstein : I knew you'd know that.

  Capt. Amazing : Oh, I know that. And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.

  Casanova Frankenstein : But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew. Did you know that?

  Capt. Amazing : ...Of course.

• Casanova Frankenstein : Mmm, oh, this is a fine, elegant Harvey Wallbanger.

  Capt. Amazing : Even when it's sucked by scum like you?

• Capt. Amazing : Oh looky here, a multi frequency radio detonator. You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.

  Casanova Frankenstein : Oh, no, no, no this is quite an amusing little gizmo. It's really quite cool.

  Capt. Amazing : Yeah? W-What is it?

  [Puff Of Smoke Goes Off In Captain Amazing's Face] 

  Capt. Amazing : [sniffs]  Yuck.

  Casanova Frankenstein : It's a cholorform-deploying portable enticement snare.

  [Captain Amazing Nods In Confusion and both foes stare at each other in silence momentarily] 

  Capt. Amazing : [sniffs]  Ah, Dang!

  [passes out]