Mystery Men (1999)

Wes Studi: Sphinx

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Sphinx : We are number one. All others are number two, or lower.

• The Sphinx : He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

• [Mr. Furious tries to balance a hammer on his head] 

  Mr. Furious : Why am I doing this, again?

  The Sphinx : When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.

  Mr. Furious : And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?

  The Sphinx : [looks at the watermelon on Mr. Furious' feet]  I don't remember telling you to do that.

• Mr. Furious : Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...

  The Sphinx : Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...

  Mr. Furious : ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?

  The Sphinx : Not necessarily.

• Invisible Boy : [after becoming invisible for a moment and reappearing naked]  I'm invisible. Can you see me?

  The Blue Raja , The Shoveller , Mr. Furious , The Sphinx , The Bowler , The Spleen : Yes!

  Mr. Furious : Wow.

  The Blue Raja : Two hands there, son.

  [Invisible Boy covers up] 

  The Bowler : Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.

• The Sphinx : You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

• The Sphinx : When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.

• The Sphinx : You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack.

• The Shoveller : Come on, somebody do something, we need him.

  The Bowler : Okay. Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man, do you understand that?

  Mr. Furious : No.

  The Bowler : No? Well you've got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why: You're not well-liked. You're uh, you're abrasive and off-putting. You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance and so, therefore nothing is provocative. Just mixed metaphors. Now, doesn't that make you angry? Does it infuriate you?

  Mr. Furious : No.

  The Bowler : Well, it should. Aren't you angry? Come on, man!

  The Shoveller : Your penmanship is atrocious!

  The Sphinx : You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!

• [last lines] 

  [to the news reporters] 

  The Shoveller : Excuse me, could I say something? I think we would all like this victory to go out to all the other guys, and I'm talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs but never get any credit. Like the lady in the DMV - that's a rough job.

  Invisible Boy : To the people that remember jingles from tons of old commercials.

  The Bowler : And uh, uh, people that support local music and seek out independent film.

  The Shoveller : And the guy that drives the snow-plow. And the school nurse, that's a...

  Mr. Furious : Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.

  Becky Beaner : What's the name of this group?

  Invisible Boy : The Super Dudes!

  The Bowler : No, no, no, not the Super Dudes.

  Mr. Furious : We're not the Super Dudes. We don't have a name yet, but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.

  The Shoveller : I gotta get home, it's late...

  [a photojournalist approaches] 

  The Bowler : Picture, picture time!

  Becky Beaner : Well, whatever you call them, Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude to these mystery men.

  The Sphinx : Wait! Wait, that's it!... We are the Super Squad.

  The Bowler : No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny... What?

  [She opens her bag, where Carmine sits smouldering] 

  The Bowler : Yes, we're all very aware that you saved the day, and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives...

• The Sphinx : To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.