Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
Marisa Coughlan: Jo Lynn Jordan
Photos
Quotes
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Coach Winchell : But it's me, Spanky.
Jo Lynn Jordan : [behind a locked door, impersonating Mrs. Tingle] What are you doing here - Spanky?
Coach Winchell : I miss my - Chilly Mama.
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Mrs. Tingle : You present yourself with such self-assured tenacity, but your fear shows around the edges. You can do better.
Jo Lynn Jordan : We're trying, Mrs. Tingle. Work with us.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Where else are you gonna see: Man Has Sex Change To Become Lesbian?
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Leigh Ann Watson : Listen, I need your senior prophecy for the last issue. The deadline's tomorrow.
Jo Lynn Jordan : I don't know what to say. I hate that senior shit.
Leigh Ann Watson : Just think of where you'll be in 20 years.
Jo Lynn Jordan : You're the writer, do it for me.
Leigh Ann Watson : Okay, how about, Miss Jo Lynn Jordan, famous film star, last seen...
Jo Lynn Jordan : In rehab popping Percodan, recently divorced from gay husband.
Leigh Ann Watson : Perfect.
Jo Lynn Jordan : What does yours say?
Leigh Ann Watson : I haven't done mine yet.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Allow me. Leigh Ann Watson, famous journalist, wins the Pulitzer Prize for her personal yet searing account of being a 38 year old virgin.
Leigh Ann Watson : Watch it.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Simple reminder.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : It was this little voice inside of me that just said, Do it!
Leigh Ann Watson : That's why it's a little voice, Jo Lynn. You're not supposed to listen to it.
Jo Lynn Jordan : No, Leigh Ann. You've gotta listen.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : [impersonating Marilyn Monroe] I ask you to ask not what your mistress can do for you, but what your mistress can do for your country.
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Luke Churner : Why is it we never dated?
Jo Lynn Jordan : We did! Almost. Once. We were this close to hooking up at Mandy Kate's birthday party. Sophomore year, when I was still an A cup with braces. It was kind of a disaster.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : All right, come here, cheese ball, and don't make me cry. You know I'm easy.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : The innocent always look more guilty when defending themselves.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : We'll just go to Tingle, okay? It's worth a shot.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Oh, God, I'm bored. Bored, bored, bored. I can't believe you don't have a TV. I mean, it's like not having toilet paper. I could be at home, watching Sally Jesse or Oprah or Jerry. Where else are you gonna see: Man Has Sex Change To Become Lesbian?
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Oh, it is wicked.
Leigh Ann Watson : And wrong and immoral, and...
Luke Churner : So is she.
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Luke Churner : What do you think?
Jo Lynn Jordan : Black mail?
Luke Churner : Dirty pictures. I'll get into bed with Tingle, and we'll use them to threaten her.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Oh, how scandalous. I love it!
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Jo Lynn Jordan : It'll work! Just this once, Leigh, for your future. All of ours.
Luke Churner : I don't even have a future, but I know I don't want to go to jail.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Okay, Operation Scandal underway. Now, we need, uh, a plan. We need supplies. We need one naked high school student...
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Mrs. Tingle, thought I'd keep you right where you are, straps and all. Going for a whole bondage theme. And, Luke, my man, drop 'em!
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Mrs. Tingle : Coach Wenchell and I - have an understanding.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Oh, how romantic. But, tell me, do you love him, or - are you just spank buddies?
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Jo Lynn Jordan : [unbuttons Mrs. Tingle's shirt and sees she's wearing a sexy bra] Oh, I love it! Mrs. Tingle, you are just full of surprises. if you weren't such a *bitch*, I'd really like you.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : The great thing about a scandal is it doesn't rely upon facts.
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Mrs. Tingle : You could never play Juliet. You haven't the commitment, the soul.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Well, there's the Tingle we all know and love, hmm?
Mrs. Tingle : You've never had a broken heart.
Jo Lynn Jordan : Yeah, well, at least I have a heart.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : Why don't you take your passive aggressive shit and go manipulate Luke's ass for awhile. I'm tired.
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Jo Lynn Jordan : You pretend to be so innocent, but in reality you'll do anything to win. you're worse than Tingle. You're a Tingle in sheep's clothing.