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Footage, not a movie
lor_28 April 2024
John Stagliano, not for better but for worse, stands as one of Adult Cinema's most influential pornographers, as his amateur approach has become standard operating procedure among all-sex directors. Here we find him minus his trademark fixation on women's rear ends (hence his famous persona as Buttman) or his interaction with the players (referred in the sexual trade as being "handsy"). Instead he's just shooting pointless and awkward sex scenes in which the cast improvises some dialogue, but mainly just has sex. The cast credits don't even correspond to the footage on screen, probably because he has the attitude that the audience will accept anything, as long as it's explicit sex. Also, he shoots lots of material, and later issues leftover, previously unseen footage as new, additional titles, slapped together, so the "cutting room floor" concept does not really apply here in a world where quality is a relative or in fact meaningless term.

The result is designed to showcase very pretty but untalented 18-year-old blonde Dana Lynn. As enunciated by co-star Billy Dee, one has to wear dark glasses around Dana because, like the mythical Medusa, to look at her is dangerous. So she's posited as a walking (if not talking) aphrodisiac.

That idiotic concept becomes the source of failed humor late in the show, when guest artist Ron Jeremy, whose presence is a minus here, gets angry at his chauffeur David Sanders for crashing his vintage car after disobeying and looking at Dana without his shades on. Jeremy's performance consists of him sleeping and snoring on a couch, waking up to talk out loud to himself, delivering story exposition. At one point he calls Sanders "Stephen" no doubt by mistake.

Two femme co-stars awkwardly deliver their sex scenes but get no screen credit, while others are prominently listed and do not show up at all. Frankie Leigh is amusing in her reactions when Sanders' ad libs are insulting to her.

Dumbest shtick is casting Don Fernando as a gynecologist who gives Dana an exam with a speculum and then humps her, inviting his student Alex Karalas to join in for a threesome. Alex looks completely bewildered here -unable to speak and not sure if he can deliver the goods sexually. This is his only screen credit, merely proving that not only women are dragged off the street (not literally but figuratively) to perform in porn films. Similarly, Maxie Moore looks bewildered, gazing around as if seeking guidance from the crew, in her sex scene with Billy Dee, and this is also her only screen credit.
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