Janet Jackson: Denise
Photos
Quotes
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[Sherman and Denis are at a screening of the movie "Cape Fear" and someone in front of them is loudly heckling the movie and smoking a cigar... ala "Cape Fear"]
Denise : What's his problem?
Sherman Klump : I don't know, but enough is enough. Excuse me, sir. Young man, will you please keep it down just a little bit 'cause we're trying to watch...
[the figure stands up and turns around, revealing himself to be Buddy Love]
Buddy Love : Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theaters!
[Sherman is terrified]
Buddy Love : Hello, fat-ass!
[laughs maniacally]
Sherman Klump : [taking Denise by the hand and leading her out of the theater] Maybe we should get going. I don't feel too good all of a sudden. Let's go. Come on, let's go somewhere else.
Denise : Sherman, who was that?
Sherman Klump : [exiting into the lobby] I don't know. I didn't really get a good look at him.
[Buddy has already beat them to the lobby]
Buddy Love : Sherman! Sherman Klump. You've still been hitting those Happy Meals? You haven't changed an *inch*! You remember me? Buddy Love. We used to chase that girl, Carla, at the same time. You ever hit that?
Sherman Klump : [flustered] Miss Purty and I were just friends.
Buddy Love : "Just friends". I guess that means you didn't hit it, huh?
[turns to Denise with interest]
Buddy Love : Who's your new friend? She sure is fine. Yes, fine. What's your name?
Denise : [disturbed] Sherman, suddenly I don't feel so well. Can we leave, please?
Sherman Klump : Yes, let's go, please.
Buddy Love : Can I talk to Sherman for one second? Then you can have him. One second, please. Excuse us.
[drags Sherman to the side]
Buddy Love : Sherman, how you doing, baby?
Sherman Klump : What do you want here?
Buddy Love : A little respect.
[hugs Sherman]
Buddy Love : You left me all by myself in that test tube without a card or a letter, and now I want a divorce. And this is a community property state, so I want my share.
Sherman Klump : Want your share of what?
[Buddy stops and thinks for a minute and claps his hands in realization, as if the idea has just come to him]
Buddy Love : The youth formula we invented!
Sherman Klump : You mean, the youth formula that *I* invented. Oh, no way, Buddy, no way.
Buddy Love : [turning aggressive] Who you growling at, fat boy?
Sherman Klump : I haven't growled.
Buddy Love : You growling at me?
Sherman Klump : I have not growled.
Buddy Love : I was hoping we could do this like gentlemen.
Denise : [coming by to take Sherman by the hand] Come on, Sherman.
Buddy Love : You gonna make me do something nasty to you, Sherman. I'll do something nasty.
[loudly mocking]
Buddy Love : Sherman! See you soon, Sherman! Sherman! Sherman!
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Denise : [nearly faints]
Buddy Love : [catches Denise and picks her up] No, don't hurt yourself, baby. You are coming with Buddy.
Sherman : [laying on the ground] No! No!
Buddy Love : See you later, Chunky Butt!
[Cackles]
Sherman : No!
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[Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a crap Mexican band]
Sherman : Denise will you...
Buddy : Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?
Sherman : ...Denise will ya? Will ya? Let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?
Mexican band : [singing] Put his beef in your taco!
Denise : What?
Sherman : [Buddy cackles, Sherman's conscious comes back] Oh, no! No, no, no...
[chuckles]
Sherman : That's not what I meant to say, Denise! That was just a little joke! I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food. That's why I said that.
Denise : Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not-...
Sherman : Yeah, you are huh? Yeah, I bet you could stand for a big ol' whopper right now, huh?
Mexican band : [singing] A big ole whopper right now!
Denise's Nosy Neighbor : You're sick!
Sherman : Yeah, I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself, if you know what I mean. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce! Yeah, come on!
[Sherman does a perverted dance in front of a shocked Denise, and falls to the ground, sexually humping it]
Sherman : Bang that thing up! Yeah, come on! Come on! Make it funky!
Denise's Nosy Neighbor : You're gonna ruin my lawn, you pervert!
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Mama Klump : [Answering door] Oh my, goodness! Is there a fire?
Fireman Stripper : Yes ma'am. I'm afraid there is.
Mama Klump : I don't smell no smoke.
[sniffs]
Fireman Stripper : [Walks in and beings playing music from stereo] There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente!
[begins stripping]
Party Guest , Party Guest , Bridesmaid , Denise : Ooh!
[laugh and clap]
Mama Klump : Ooh! Lord, have mercy! A strip - Oh, my! My mother must've arranged this!
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Denise : Sherman you're very special to me.
Sherman Klump : [laughs, embarrassed and flattered] I didn't think you and I would ever, you know... How can I put it? 'Cos I'm...
Denise : Big.
Sherman Klump : Yeah, I was gonna say 'fat,' but 'big' is better.
Denise : Sherman, that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that you're kind and decent. You are the most brilliant man I've ever known. And speaking of which, I shouldn't keep you from your research, so I'll catch up with you later?
Sherman Klump : Okay, I'll see you soon.
[she leaves]
Sherman Klump : [to himself] My goodness.
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Sherman Klump : [to Denise] I just want to say I'm sorry. I never... never wanted to hurt you. Understand? I thought that if you knew Buddy was a part of me, I thought that you wouldn't have me then.
Denise : Sherman...
Sherman Klump : Hear me out... I should've had more faith in you. Should've had more faith in myself. But I...
Denise : Sherman? Sherman, what's wrong? Sherman!
Papa Klump : C'mon, can't you hear, son?
Denise : [persistent] Sherman, look at me! Who am I?
Sherman Klump : [without memory] Pretty lady!
Denise : [sobbing] Oh, honey!
[hugs Sherman]
Denise : It's going to be okay, I'll take care of you.
Sherman Klump : [gleefully, at same time] Oh, that's nice! Nice.
Papa Klump : Come on, let's get the boy home.
Sherman Klump : Nice lady!
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Ernie Klump : [reaches for Denise's food across the buffet table]
Denise : [slaps Ernie's hand] You reach over here again, you gonna pull back a nub.
