- [first lines]
- Ted Demme: I think Morty is a visionary.
- Roger Corman: I think Morty was and is an artist.
- Ron Howard: He's an innovator.
- Karen Black: Very persistent. And you have to love him for that.
- Peter Bogdanovich: Morty would try things, and then 2 years later someone would copy it and win an Oscar for it.
- Fred Williamson: This is the only man that I've ever worked with that I feel I can't take.
- Morty Fineman: [eulogy] For what does it gain a man to be given that divine candle, and not to dip his wick.
- Morty Fineman: [concluding his corporate presentation] That, gentlemen, is why financing Fineman Films is fine financing.
- Paloma Fineman: I think that anyone that claims that they are totally happy with their family situation is not concentrating.
- Interviewer: [quoting critics] An insipid, childish, even maniacal work. Someone please tell Mr. Fineman that The Whole Story of America does *not* have to be as long as the whole story of America.
- Morty Fineman: Those who cannot do, review.
- Morty Fineman: [to potential producer] I tell you Walter, I've been in this business 30 years and there's only one sure-fire way to make a small fortune - start with a large fortune.
- Interviewer: Wow, you invented the sequel?
- Morty Fineman: Well, I invented the roman numeral at the end of the title. You see God Father III, Friday the 13th part VII, that started with me.
- Title Card: World War III II, a Fineman Production.
- Fan from Casper, WY: You have no idea sir how much I've learned from you. Your film with Tanya McDonald showed me how to please a woman. But also to tell if she's a vampire...
- Morty Fineman: [to adoring fans] I believe the true measure of a man is that which he thinks of himself. Back straight, shoes off, head high. It doesn't guarantee you a tall man, but at least you get an accurate measure.
- [last lines]
- Morty Fineman: Now remember people what we're trying to say here... You gotta help me. You gotta feel it... Action!
- Morty Fineman: Ivan, how long have you worked for me?
- Ivan: Since I was 16.
- Morty Fineman: And what did I tell you about persistence?
- Ivan: The difference between the flying ant and the regular ant is that the regular ant never tries to fly.
- Morty Fineman: Ivan, how long have you worked for me?
- Ivan: Since I was 16.
- Morty Fineman: And what did I tell you about appearance?
- Ivan: Buy a glass eye. Not because you are blind, but because others can see.
- Morty Fineman: Ivan, how long have you worked for me?
- Ivan: Since I was 16.
- Morty Fineman: And what did I tell you about loyalty?
- Ivan: Milk the cow 'til it's dry, then make hamburger and wallets.