The Mummy Returns (2001) Poster

John Hannah: Jonathan

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Quotes 

  • Rick : Alex I've got a big job for you. I want you to stay here and protect the car.

    Jonathan : I can do that.

    Alex : Protect the car? Come on, Dad. Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I'm stupid.

    Rick : I know.

    Alex : [ruffles his hair]  Dad!

    Rick : Ehh...

    Jonathan : If you see anyone come running out screaming, it's just me.

    Rick : [to Jonathan about Alex]  Maybe you should stay here and watch him.

    Jonathan : Yes, now you're talking.

  • Evelyn : Jonathan?

    Jonathan : Yes?

    Evelyn : That's my husband and my son down there. Make me proud.

    Jonathan : Today's that day, Evy.

  • Ardeth Bay : I am sorry if I alarmed your son, but you must understand, now that the bracelet is on his wrist, we have only seven days before the Scorpion King awakens.

    Rick : We? What we?

    Ardeth Bay : If he is not killed, he will raise the Army of Anubis.

    Jonathan : I take it that's not a good thing?

    Rick : Oh, he'll wipe out the world.

    Jonathan : Ah, the old "wipe out the world" ploy.

  • [Jonathan trying to start the car as he hears gunfire break out] 

    Alex : Hurry up!

    Jonathan : Come on, come on, come on!

    [Johnathan turns the key and breaks it off] 

    Alex : You broke it, you broke it, you broke it!

    Jonathan : Be quiet Alex! If there's going to be any hysterics, they'll come from me!

  • Rick : Where the hell's Jonathon?

    [Jonathon drives up in a double-decker bus with Alex] 

    Evelyn : Alex!

    Rick : What's the matter with my car?

    Jonathan : Well, I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation.

    Rick : [shouting]  A double-decker bus?

    Jonathan : [pointing to Alex]  It was his idea!

    Alex : Was not!

    Jonathan : Was too!

    Rick : Just go!

    Jonathan : Was too!

    Alex : Was not!

  • Rick : Okay, you're here, the bad guys are here, Evy's been kidnapped. Let me guess.

    Ardeth Bay : Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave.

    Jonathan : I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't it your job to make sure that *doesn't* happen?

    Ardeth Bay : That woman who was with him, she knows things; things that no living person could possibly know. She knew exactly where the creature was buried. We were hoping she would lead us to the bracelet. She obviously did. And now they have it.

    Alex : [revealing the bracelet on his wrist]  I wouldn't get too nervous just yet.

  • [after their narrow escape, Izzy cheers wildly, then rounds on O'Connell, furious] 

    Izzy : O'Connell. You almost got me killed!

    Rick : [shrugs weakly]  At least you didn't get shot.

    Evelyn : Izzy! Thank you!

    [kisses Izzy on the cheek] 

    Evelyn : Thank you!

    [kisses Izzy on the cheek again] 

    Jonathan : [with his diamond]  Yes! Yes! Yes!

    Izzy : [considerably more mellow]  O'Connell, who the hell you been messin' with this time, huh?

    Rick : Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs.

  • [Jonathan and Shafek are being chased by pygmies and are running into the burial ground] 

    Jonathan : Look! There's a burial ground! We're safe! We're safe! See those sacred stones? They'll never cross those.

    Shafek : You are sure?

    Jonathan : Yes, of course I'm sure!

    [a pygmy runs past and stabs Shafek. Jonathan screams] 

    Jonathan : Sorry. My mistake.

  • [while Jonathan is fighting Anch Su Namun] 

    Alex : Efday Shokran... Efday Shokran... Uncle Jon, I don't know what this last symbol is!

    Jonathan : What's it look like?

    Alex : It's a bird! A stork!

    Jonathan : [ecstatic]  I know that one! I know that one!

    Alex : Then what is it?

    Jonathan : [struggling with Anch Su Namun]  Ah... Ah...!

    [throws her off] 

    Jonathan : [triumphantly]  Ahmenophus!

  • Jonathan : What are we gonna do? *What are we gonna do*?

    Alex : You're asking me? I'm only 8 years old, for Christ's sake!

  • Jonathan : Pull me up! Pull me up! Pull me up!

    [he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid] 

    Jonathan : Wait! Wait! Let me down! Let me down!

    Rick : It's not worth your life, you idiot!

    Jonathan : Yes, it is! Yes, it is!

  • Jonathan : I say, chaps, look at this. Shrunken heads. I'd *love* to know how they do that.

    [Everybody looks strangely at Jonathan] 

    Jonathan : Just curious.

  • [last lines] 

    Izzy : Uh, that's half mine, you know.

    Jonathan : What?

    Izzy : [indicating the diamond]  That's half mine.

    Jonathan : I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Izzy : What? You took my gold stick! I know you took my gold stick!

    Jonathan : No, I have no id... I swear on the head of my wife, I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Izzy : You haven't... you a... you ain't got a wife!

    Jonathan : I don't got your gold stick either!

    [they keep arguing and their voices fade as the ship sails off into the sunset] 

  • [trying to console Alex about his moms death] 

    Jonathan : Try to think of it like this, Alex. She's gone to a better place. You know, like it says in the Good Book.

    Alex : The book.

    Jonathan : What?

    Alex : That's it. That's it!

    Jonathan : That's what?

    Alex : Come on, Uncle Jon! Come on, come on!

    Jonathan : What?

    Alex : That's it! The book!

  • [as Jonathan picks up his rifle] 

    Ardeth Bay : You any good with that?

    Jonathan : Three times Fox and Hound's grand champion, I'll have you know.

    [nods at Ardeth's scimitar] 

    Jonathan : You any good with that?

    Ardeth Bay : You'll know soon enough.

    [in a flash, the scimitar is in his hand and the blade rests against Jonathan's neck] 

    Ardeth Bay : Because the only way to kill an Anubis warrior is by taking off its head.

    Jonathan : [swallows]  I'll remember that.

  • Jonathan : [to Ardeth Bay]  Where is all this stuff written?

  • [Jonathan, mistaken for Rick is in a chair with a knife at his throat while being asked about the Bracelet of Anubis] 

    Meela : Where's your wife?

    Jonathan : My wife? Oh you mean Evy. Well, I think she went off to Baden-Baden or Tibet or something. The girl is a free spirit. Did I mention I was single now?

    Meela : [pulls a snake out of a basket]  Egyptian Aps are quite poisonous.

    Jonathan : It's downstairs. There's a safe. the combination is, uh, uh, 320-58, er, 393-something. It's the safe downstairs. I told you. I told you!

    Meela : And your point is?

    Jonathan : My point is, I told you so you wouldn't kill me.

    Meela : When did we make that arrangement?

    [leans towards him and points the snake at his throat] 

    Meela : [Rick enters and sees Jonathan tied up and Meela and her men surrounding him] 

    Rick : Uh, hello. Uh, Jonathan, I thought I said no more wild parties.

    Jonathan : Well, when you're popular...

  • Rick : I thought I almost lost you there.

    Evelyn : For a moment there, you did... Would you like to know what heaven looks like?

    Rick : Later.

    [Rick and Evelyn kiss] 

    Alex , Jonathan : [together]  Oh, please!

  • Rick : It's a spear! The gold stick thing, it's a... it's a spear!

    Jonathan : Really? Doesn't look like a spear!

    Rick : No! That's because it opens up into one!

  • Evelyn : [at Magic Carpet Airways]  This is the magic carpet?

    Rick : It'll be fine. He's a professional.

    [coming out the front door, Izzy spots him and gasps] 

    Rick : Izzy!

    [retreating back inside, Izzy locks the door] 

    Rick : Hey!

    Evelyn : He definitely remembers you.

    Rick : He's a little shy. Jonathan, get our bags.

    Jonathan : Oh, my hands are full.

    Rick : [yanking the scepter out of his hand]  Now!

    Jonathan : Right. I'll get the bags.

    Rick : I'll deal with the flight details.

    Evelyn : [he shoots the lock]  Honey, you're not a subtle man.

    Rick : We don't have time for subtle.

  • Evelyn : [stopping Meela from killing Jonathan]  Why don't you pick on somebody your own size?

    Jonathan : Oh, my God. Evy!

    Evelyn : Take Alex. Go and help Rick.

    Alex : But, Mom...

    Evelyn : No buts, Alex.

    Jonathan : [leading him out]  Come on, Alex.

    Alex : But.. but...

    Evelyn : [drawing a pair of sais from a statute]  I'll be just fine.

  • Rick : Hey, nice shootin', Tex.

    Jonathan : What were those creepy little pygmy things?

    Rick : Those are local natives.

    Jonathan : Are you sure?

    Rick : Yeah, I'm sure. It was nothin'.

  • Rick : What'd you do this time?

    Jonathan : Well, I haven't done anything to anybody

    [bullets fly through the door] 

    Jonathan : ... lately.

  • Jonathan : Step aside, Alex. I'm a professional.

  • Jonathan : So then I killed the mummy and all his minions and stole his sceptor.

    Show Girl : [smiles]  Oh, you're so brave.

    Jonathan : And rich. Did I mention rich.

    Show Girl : What do you think I'm doing here?

    Jonathan : [a bunch of henchmen entering the O'Connell house]  Sorry. We must be in the wrong house.

    Show Girl : [she got caught]  I thought you said this was your house.

    Jonathan : No, I didn't

    Show Girl : [looks at Jonathan]  Call me!

    Jonathan : Uh-huh!

    Jonathan : [he was caught by the Curator's henchmen]  you're not Sheila's husband, are you?

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : No.

    Jonathan : [sits down in his comfy chair]  Look, if you work for Johnny, I was gonna pay him back on Tuesday.

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : I don't KNOW any Johnny. We are looking for the bracelet of Anubis.

    Jonathan : [looks at the Curator]  Oh, good. Good for you. Good thing to have, the old bracelet of Anubis.

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : [seriously]  Where is it?

    Jonathan : Ah, you're looking here for the bracelet. I see. Well, I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : Mr. O'Connell, you try my patience.

    Jonathan : Mr. O'Connell? No, hold on a minute. you've got the wrong ma...

    Jonathan : [when Shafek holds his knife up on Jonathan's neck]  AAAH! That bracelet. Yes, of course. Now I remember. I lost it in a card game.

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : For your sake, I hope not.

    [looks down and he takes the sceptor] 

    Baltus Hafez, the Curator : It can't be.

  • Meela : [Meela enters the O'Connell house]  Hello.

    Jonathan : Hello.

    [then chuckles] 

    Meela : Where's your wife?

    Jonathan : My wife? Oh, you mean Evy. I think she went off to Baden-Baden or Tibet or something. the girl's a free spirit. Did I mention I was single now?

    Meela : [she holds up a black poisonous Egyptian Asp from the basket then Jonathan looks at the Asp]  Egyptian asps are quite poisonous.

    Jonathan : [he nods]  It's downstairs. There's a safe. The combination is, uh... uh, 3-2058... uh, 3-9-3-something. It's in a safe downstairs. I told you. I told you!

    Meela : And your point is?

    Jonathan : My point is, I told you so you wouldn't kill me.

    Meela : When did we make that arrangement?

    [and Jonathan was tortured when she holds the Asp down to Jonathan's neck] 

    Rick : [Rick enters into Jonathan's room and the Cult saw them]  Uh, hello.

    Rick : [Jonathan chuckles happy]  Jonathan, I thought I said no more wild parties.

    Jonathan : Well, when your popular...

    [Shafek still holds the knife up to his neck] 

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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