- Jaye: Straight girls always say they hate the first time, but they always go back for more. Guess boys are an acquired taste, like Guinness and black olives.
- [calling to his boyfriend who's in the bathroom as he writhes on their bed...]
- Bambi: You've got ten seconds to wash your face... Or I'm starting without you. I'm gonna do more than just good old-fashioned "make your dreams come true." Times up! I'm gonna make your reality compete with your dreams.