Lucky Numbers (2000)
John Travolta: Russ Richards
Photos
Quotes
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Russ : You know, you better start taking notes, because when me and Gig start hashing it out there's going to be a lot of gold flying around and I don't want to miss any of it.
Crystal : [after Russ's lame bomb scare idea] Right, then the firemen will come and the policemen will come, so kind of a lame idea, you know.
Russ : Alright, jeez, it's just an idea, it's a work in progress for God's sake. Even a painter's got to take the brushes and clean them.
Crystal : Whatever that means.
Russ : Okay! Do you have any better ideas, Ms. Smarty-Pants?
Crystal : Why can't I just distract Bobby somehow, the security guy? And you switch the balls.
Russ : No, no, lame. That's lame.
Gig : No, that's brilliant. No really, it's so simple, it's brilliant. In its simplicity Russ.
Russ : [after discussing finding a beard] Oh, og God, okay, I got it. I buy the ticket in disguise! Okay? And this eliminates all the outsiders. That's it, okay. Yeah, yeah, now we're cooking with gas!
Crystal : I mean, how would you disguise yourself?
Gig : What, as Charlie Chaplin? As The Tramp or something?
Crystal : Yeah, or no, like, from the Wizard of Oz. That guy. The Straw Guy.
Gig : The Straw Man.
Crystal : Yeah, the Straw Man, he could put some hay in his clothes and wear a hat.
[Sarcastically]
Crystal : No one would know it's him! Ooh, it's clever.
Gig : Nobody would ever know! No! Russ.
Russ : It's the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. If you're going to make fun of me, get your facts straight.
Crystal : Well, my apologies sir. I am not the cartoon aficionada _sic_ that you are.
Russ : It's not a cartoon Crystal, it's a movie.
Crystal : Who gives a shit!
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Russ : [after finding out there are cops in Gig's club] I've always wanted to give an inmate fame. You know, they kill the celebrities first, then they fuck 'em in the butt!
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Russ : What about the puffer?
Crystal : Yeah, well at first I couldn't find it, and when we found it... it was all out of you know... shit... the... um
Russ : Mist?
Crystal : Yeah that's it. Do you know what his last words were?
Russ : Come on, don't do this.
Crystal : Krystal, my sweet angel. Go into my wallet and get the ticket because you and Russ deserve to have that money.
Russ : Oh, come on... don't do this to me...
Crystal : Fuck me, no fried clams?
Crystal : All right... key lime pie!
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Russ : What about this little missy? There's enough mist in this little puppy to save 10 masturbators!
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Russ : As our Jewish friends say: "Enjoy."
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Dale : Give me the money Russ.
Russ : Great, Gig. We gotta talk about this.
Dale : I'll fuckin' ball-bat you, you creep cocksucker!
Russ : Okay, okay. Okay.
Dale : [leaving, picks up bottle in curiosity] Mint Listerine?
Russ : Yeah.
Dale : When did they come out with this?
Russ : I don't know.
Dale : Is it good?
Russ : Yeah, it's good.
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Russ : [asking who put his boss in the hospital] Was it Dale the Thug?
Det. Pat Lakewood : I don't know, some jerk in a plaid shirt. But don't worry
[imitates gunfire with his fingers]
Det. Pat Lakewood : I killed him.
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Dick Simmons : Don't say anything. Not a word. Because if I hear one bullshit comment like, "What's that?" or "What are you talking about?" I'm gonna pick that phone up and call the cops.
Russ : What? Wh-what do you mean?
[Dick goes for the phone]
Russ : It slipped out! Dick, we're listening. Go ahead.
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Russ : [fleeing while riding a snowmobile] All right kids, now it's time to play the snowmobile game with your host Russ Richards!
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Russ : [threateningly] Where is the ticket?
Dick Simmons : I... I gave it to Larry King.
[Russ shakes him angrily and a book by Larry King is revealed with the ticket stuffed inbetween]