Chocolat (2000)

Judi Dench: Armande Voizin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Armande Voizin : [entering the new chocolate shop]  What's the décor, early Mexican brothel?

• Luc Clairmont : Happy birthday, Grandmama.

  Armande Voizin : The invitation said five o'clock.

  Luc Clairmont : I should have read it more closely.

  Armande Voizin : If you had, you would know there were supposed to be no gifts.

  Luc Clairmont : Don't worry so much about supposed to.

• Vianne : What do you see in it?

  Armande Voizin : Not a damned thing.

  Vianne : Come on, it's a game. What do you see?

  Armande Voizin : I see a cranky old woman too tired to play games.

  Vianne : Hmm. I've got just the thing for you.

• Luc Clairmont : Grandmother, bonjour.

  Armande Voizin : I, um... would you like a cup of, uh...

  Luc Clairmont : No, no thank you. I'm just here to, uh... do a portrait.

  Armande Voizin : Whose?

  Vianne : Yours, actually. Is the light okay where she's sitting?

• Vianne : I have two announcements. Number one, if you enjoyed what you ate here, you're going to love my chocolate festival on Sunday.

  Armande Voizin : Advertise on your own time. What's for dessert?

  Vianne : That brings me to number two. It is my duty to announce, that there is no dessert here tonight.

  [guests sound disappointed] 

  Vianne : Because it's on Roux's boat.

  [uncomfortable silence] 

  Armande Voizin : Any complaints, see me.

• Armande Voizin : Your cinnamon looks rancid.

  Vianne : Well, it's not cinnamon, it's a special kind of chili pepper.

  Armande Voizin : Chili pepper in hot chocolate? Psh.

  Vianne : Mm-hm. It'll give you a lift.

• Armande Voizin : I've got something for you, boy. I've been carrying it around since your last birthday. It's a book of poetry.

  Luc Clairmont : Oh. Thank you.

  Armande Voizin : You don't like poetry?

  Luc Clairmont : Oh no, no, of course. I do.

  Armande Voizin : Neither do I. It's not that kind of poetry.

• Armande Voizin : [reading poetry to Luc]  It's perfectly wretched, isn't it?

  Luc Clairmont : Perfectly.

• Armande Voizin : Sure you didn't put booze in that?

  Vianne : Something better.

  Armande Voizin : Perhaps you should give it to my daughter. Melt that chilly disposition of hers.

• Armande Voizin : I was out all night with him. We swam naked in the Tannes. At dawn, when I returned to my house, in my bed, my mother poked her head in and said, "Wake up sleepyhead." She had no idea I'd been gone.

• Armande Voizin : She won't let me see my grandson. I'm cut off from him.

  Vianne : Why is that? Armande, why is that?

  Armande Voizin : Oh, I'm a bad influence. 'Cause I don't like her treating him like a trained poodle. I swear, that boy doesn't piss without her permission.

• Vianne : You've never really told me what the problem is - between you and Caroline.

  Armande Voizin : 'Cause it's none of your damn business. I'm an embarrassment to her. I swear. I read dirty books. I eat and drink what I like. And sin of sins, I refuse to go to Les Mimosas.

  Josephine Muscat : When I was a kid, we called it Le Mortoir. It's a nursing home for old... It's in Toulouse.

  Armande Voizin : Caroline loves the thought of a nurse with a clipboard recording my bowel movements.

• Armande Voizin : "Will she never have done, then, That ghoul queen of a million dead bodies? I see myself again, skin rotten with mud and pest, Worms in my armpits and in my hair." It's perfectly wretched, isn't it?

  Luc Clairmont : Perfectly.

• Armande Voizin : If you want to blame someone, blame me. Corrupting him with cocoa.

• Vianne : Armande, why didn't you tell me?

  Armande Voizin : Is this a chocolaterie or is it a confessional? Don't you dare pity me.

• Caroline Clairmont : Why don't you show them, Mother? Are you afraid to? Why don't you show? Insulin shots. She has diabetes. Very advanced. She could be blind within a year.

  Armande Voizin : Yeah. Couldn't you call me a drug addict? It sounds a lot more glamorous.

  Caroline Clairmont : [to Vianne]  And you! You sit here feeding her sweets!

  Armande Voizin : There are worst ways to die.

• Armande Voizin : Where are you from?

  Vianne : Well, we lived in Andalucia for a while. And, let me see, before that, Vienna and before that...

  Anouk : Before that...

  Vianne : Athens.

  Anouk : Pavia.

  Vianne : Pavia!

  Anouk : Pantoufle hated it there.

  Vianne : Pantoufle is her kangaroo.

  Anouk : But he can't hop.

  Vianne : Bad leg. War injury, huh?

• Armande Voizin : For God's sake, don't fuss. You'll ruin a perfectly decadent evening.