Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

John Toles-Bey: Mr. Pizzacoli

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Pizzacoli : [on delivering pizzas]  A trained dolphin could do a better job than you two!

  Jesse : Yeah, but then the pizzas would get all wet.

• Zoltan : You gotta activate the...

  Space Nerds : Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam!

  Jesse : What?

  Mr. Pizzacoli : They said The Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam, YOU FOOL!

  Chester : Hurry, activate it, dude!

  [a small panel on the Transfunctioner reads "Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam"] 

  Chester : I think that's it, dude.

  Jesse : Thank you, Captain Obvious.

• Mr. Pizzacoli : [knocks on the door]  Open up, you 2 slackers!

  Jesse and Chester : [quietly]  Mr. Pizzacoli!

  Mr. Pizzacoli : You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that didn't get delivered, and I want some answers!

  Jesse and Chester : [notice the undelivered pizzas around the house]  Uh-oh.

  Mr. Pizzacoli : OPEN UP THIS DAMN DOOR!

  Chester : It's open!

  Jesse : OHHH!

  [he hits Chester] 

• Jesse : Look, it's an elephant!

  Mr. Pizzacoli : [turning around]  What?

  Jesse : It was just a mailman.

• Chester : Look, a unicorn!

  [Mr. Pizzacoli looks] 

  Mr. Pizzacoli : A unicorn?

  Chester : Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.

• Mr. Pizzacoli : I know you've been embezzelin' my pizzas, and I will catch you eventually. And when I do, I swear ta God, you will neva deliver pizzas in this town again!

• Mr. Pizzacoli : Damn! Now those are some big-ass panties.