All Over the Guy (2001)

Adam Goldberg: Brett Miles Sanford

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discussing the bad dates Brett's set Eli up on] 

  Brett Miles Sanford : Look I know it didn't go all so, you know, that well last time with... Richard, was it?

  Eli Wyckoff : Rita! From UPS. She was a woman!

  Brett Miles Sanford : Whatever, she was still gay. That's your problem, you're so picky.

• [discussing Eli's bad date with Tom the previous night] 

  Eli Wyckoff : He kept saying, "You do the math," even when it made no sense sense. What a turn-off.

  Brett Miles Sanford : What's the turn-on? According to your mother you haven't had a hard-on since she first took you to see THE NUTCRACKER at the Jewish Community Center in first grade.

  Eli Wyckoff : Stop talking to my mother about my sex life.

  Brett Miles Sanford : What sex life?

  Eli Wyckoff : I have one!

  Brett Miles Sanford : Uh huh, right.

  [makes jerking off motions] 

  Eli Wyckoff : Ok, y'know, it counts. I spent 10 years learning which buttons to push, now I just have to look at myself and I cum.

  Brett Miles Sanford : Eww.