24 Hour Party People (2002)

Lennie James: Alan Erasmus

Photos 

Quotes 

• [watching Vini Reilly of Durutti Column performing "You've Heard It Before"] 

  Ryan Letts : Got to stop him singing, Tony.

  Tony Wilson : It's avant-garde, you wouldn't understand it.

  Ryan Letts : It's very poor. Very poor.

  Tony Wilson : It's provocative.

  Ryan Letts : Provocatively poor. Appallingly poor. They're not calling you the new George Epstein, you know.

  Tony Wilson : [getting annoyed]  ... It's Brian Epstein.

  Ryan Letts : George Epstein, Beatles manager.

  Tony Wilson : That's Brian Epstein, you dickhead. It's fucking Brian Epstein.

  Ryan Letts : [overlapping]  George Epstein. It's Brian Martin.

  Tony Wilson : It's *George* Martin, you knob.

  Ryan Letts : Brian Martin the producer, George Epstein the, er... manager.

  Alan Erasmus : Tony, tell him to fuck off.

  Lindsay : Come on, let's sit down...

  Tony Wilson : [to Letts]  You're just fucking *wrong.*

• Tony Wilson : You know broccoli?

  Alan Erasmus : Broccoli, the vegetable?

  Tony Wilson : Yeah. That was, uh, that was, uh, invented by Cubby Broccoli, the producer of the James Bond films. Little-known fact. Little-known fact. It's true. It's a crossbred vegetable. It's half cauliflower, half...

  Alan Erasmus : What?

  Tony Wilson : Half, uh, something, a green, half a green, a green thing, half a green thing, I don't know. Half a cauliflower. And the Broccoli, Cubby Broccoli's family...

  Alan Erasmus : Was inventing vegetables before they started making movies?

  Tony Wilson : That's, that was, that bankrolled the Bond films.

  Tony Wilson : I don't believe you, Tony.

  Tony Wilson : It's a, that's a fact.

  Alan Erasmus : I don't believe you.

  Tony Wilson : It's fact. Look it up in Encyclopedia Britannica.

• Tony Wilson : There's a problem. You never told me he was called Tony.

  Alan Erasmus : Who?

  Lindsay : What's up?

  Tony Wilson : Tony. There's two Tonys.

  Lindsay : Yeah.

  Tony Wilson : Well, that, that, that, straightaway, that's a, that's... Can you not see how that's a potential problem? You have two people. He's in charge of the club. I'm supposed to be in charge of whatever it is we're doing. There's two Tonys on equal pegging. There's a confrontation. You know, who's Tony number one? Who's Tony number two? There's gonna have to be some sort of differentiation.

  Alan Erasmus : Yeah, but he's not called Tony, is he? He's called Tonay. You know, Don Tonay. It's his fucking surname, Tone.

  Tony Wilson : Is it?

  Alan Erasmus : Yeah.

  Lindsay : It's a bit grubby.

  Alan Erasmus : Yeah, I know it's grubby, but we can get it cleaned up for the nights we're in.

  Tony Wilson : That's worse.

  Alan Erasmus : What is worse, Tony?

  Tony Wilson : Well, sorry to harp on about this, but that makes him Mr. Tonay, and I'm just plain Tony.

  Lindsay : Yeah, what's wrong with that, Tony?

  Tony Wilson : Well, look, there's a hierarchy there, straightaway. "Mister," you know, "Mister" Tonay, is more important than Tony. "Hello, Mr. Tonay. Yes, mister, no, mister." And just plain old Tony. "Tony, me mate, Tony." You know, I'm gonna have some sort of credibility.

  Alan Erasmus : Why don't you just call him Don? How about that? See if he goes for that. Call him Don.

  Tony Wilson : Don.