Undercover Brother (2002)

Neil Patrick Harris: Lance

Photos 

Quotes 

• Undercover Brother : You know what they say, behind every great black man...

  Conspiracy Brother : is the police.

  Undercover Brother : No.

  Smart Brother : A bunch of slow white athletes?

  Undercover Brother : No!

  White She-Devil : A cute butt.

  Undercover Brother : NO!

  Lance : Probable cause.

• [after killing three bodyguards with his bare hands in a temper tantrum] 

  Lance : They shouldn't have called me a sissy.

• Lance : I *feel* black.

  Conspiracy Brother : But you *look* white... don't touch me!

• Lance : So let me get this straight; whenever a black guy does well, starts wearing Dockers, buys a few Celine Dion records, and sleeps with a White chick, you automatically say he's sold out?

  The Chief : That's enough, Lance!

  Lance : Always trying to shut the white man down.

  Conspiracy Brother : THAT'S RIGHT! That's Right!... Oh, that ain't right.

• Lance : I have stood on the sidelines of race relations long enough! I want to march down that field of oppression and kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance!

  The Chief : Son, you talk a lot of shit.

  Lance : Yes, I do.

  The Chief : But you down.

• [Stoned, walking into The Man's communications room] 

  Lance : This isn't Taco Bell! Oh, man...

• Lance : [screeching]  I... am not... a sissy!

• Lance : It looks like the Source Awards in here...

  [Conspiracy Brother punches him] 

  Conspiracy Brother : It does now!

• Lance : Chief, and various brother agents. I owe all of you a huge apology. I just watched a show, ummm, Roots, maybe you've heard of it? It taught me such a profound lesson about bigotry. I have stood on the sidelines of race relations long enough! I want to march down that field of oppression and kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance!

• Lance : We gotta get the hell out of here! We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!

  Undercover Brother : [slaps Lance]  Dig it...

  [slaps him again] 

  Undercover Brother : ... and dig it hard!

  Lance : [softly]  Daddy...