The Willows in Winter (1996 TV Movie)

Rik Mayall: Toad

Quotes 

• Toad : [Toad is flying the plane recklessly, with Ratty in the front of the plane]  Look, Ratty! NO HANDS!

  [laughs maniacally] 

• Toad : [Toad and the Pilot are at Toad Hall, with Toad already buying a new airplane, with a pilot trying to get the engine started. Toad is getting very agitated]  Oh, I say, fellow, can't you get a move on? I've been waiting months for this!

  Pilot : Can't start 'er up and fly 'er safe, she 'as!

  Toad : [Toad guffaws]  *YOU* fly her?

  [Toad laughs] 

  Toad : Oh, no, no, no, no chappie! *You* start her up, and *I* should take the controls!

  Pilot : [the pilot fills the plane up with fuel]  Can't allow that sir!

  Toad : What do you mean, "can't allow it"? Whose lovely aeroplane is it anyway?

  Pilot : Not, say, I test her first, then teaches you how to fly.

  Toad : Teach *me* how to fly? Already know it all!

  [throws the book away and guffaws] 

  Pilot : [sighs]  That's enough for a test run.

  [the pilot begins to try to start the engine up, with Toad getting even more impatient] 

  Toad : Come on. Come on!

  [jumping up and down in impatience] 

  Toad : Come on, come on, COME *ON*!

  [the pilot then starts up the propellers, Toad starts smiling that it works, then the propellers start slowing down and then stopping] 

  Toad : Ohh, BAH! It's a dud! Oh,

  [walking off] 

  Toad : Order me another one.

  Pilot : [to Toad, telling him to be patient]  Got to have patience, Mr Toad.

  Toad : Patience?

  [scoffs] 

  Toad : I am *THE* most patient fellow in ENGLAND!

  [the pilot then sighs and starts the propellers of the plane and it works] 

• Magistrate : [Toad has revealed his true identity to the judge and the commissioners of police. The judge recognises him from his previous sentencing]  I recognise that voice!

  Toad : [in his chimney sweep outfit; knowing his cover was blown]  Whoops!

  Magistrate : [recognising Toad and noticing him]  I sentenced that villain!

  Toad : [knowing the judge is onto him]  Uh-oh!

  Magistrate : [pointing at Toad to the police]  That's the infamous Toad!